THE WORLD CHANGED IN AN INSTANT

9 October 2001

The movie is A Star Is Born (the Judy Garland version). Movie star Norman Maine and struggling singer Esther Blodgett are sitting on the edge of a fountain discussing her future. Maine is trying to convince her to give up her job singing with a band and let him try to "see what he can do" for her at the studio. "A career can change on a trifle," he says. "Like you and me sitting here tonight."

Of course the world did change. She gave up her job, became "Vicki Lester," and went on to be a big movie star. The world for Esther Blodgett changed in an instant.

On September 11, 2001, the world as we knew it changed in an instant. We blinked and suddenly our symbols of power came crashing down into an 80 foot pile of rubble on the streets of Manhattan. Suddenly everything changed with it. Our sense of security was forever altered. We began to look at each other suspiciously, especially if our skin was of a different color or our roots were not in this country. Any accident that occurred made us wonder..."Is this terrorism?" Politicans began to talk about identity cards. Freedom of speech began to be curtailed. (See Adair Lara's Oct. 2 column if you doubt that.) Businesses laid off thousands of employees. The world was no longer the world we knew.

A world can change in a trifle.

I look back over my life and I think of all the "instants" that changed my life. Some were very bad instants. Some were very good instants.

It only took an instant to lose my sister. A couple of bullets in her head and life as we knew it changed forever. It set in motion a whole bunch of events and emotions that culminated in my parents' divorce and my mother, after years of an unhappy marriage, finding the man of her dreams.

In one wonderful instant on April 26, 1966 my world changed. I was no longer just a woman, just a secretary, just a wife, I was now a mother and my life would never be the same again.

There was one instant in my life that changed the lives of everyone in this family. It occurred at the check-out stand in a Longs Drugs. The director of a recent production of The Sound of Music was ahead of me in line and I introduced myself and congratulated her on the success of the show. "If you ever want to start a children's theatre, I'll be willing to help," I said. Out of that instant grew The Sunshine Children's theatre, our kids' interest in the stage which ultimately led to Jeri's adult career, Ned's career, and Paul's career.

In one instant in 1980 I agreed to take a Brasilian student into our home for a couple of weeks. It set off one of the most memorable and often wonderful decade of our family life, as we learned to know and love some 70 people from around the world.

"Bev--Gilbert died." The date was July 14, 1986. Bastille Day. In an instant the world as I knew it changed forever. It was my first experience with a death that touched my life deeply. It taught me about grief. It also led to my writing a book, something I never thought I would be able to do.

In one terrible moment on May 18, 1996 the world made another 8.0 Richter scale change when David's car ran into a light pole in San Francisco. The world was never the same again. The world changed in that one instant and led to a series of events which culminated (dear God, please let it be the culmination) in Paul's death 3 years later. The world as we knew it. Changed in an instant.

When we think of the fragility of "the world as we know it," it behooves us to pay attention to the words of Goethe: "Nothing is worth more than this day" and to make the most of each day, speaking our love to people we love, never passing up an opportunity to do a good deed for someone. To make our life matter.

Our world changes may not always be as dramatic as the events of September 11, 2001. As with Norman Maine and Esther Blodgett, the world can change forever by something as simple as sitting down and talking things over, if we're open to whatever comes along.

And if the world changes in a negative way, we need to be open to the positives as well. Robert Frost said, "In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."

The only thing that is inevitable is that throughout our lives our worlds will change many times. But as we continue down our altered path, inevitably, life does go on.