THE 500 HATS OF BARTHOLOMEW CUBBINS

26 October 2001

That's how I feel today. One day on the job, and I already feel like I'm wearing 500 hats.

I started this morning wearing my little frilly wife bonnet, as I made coffee, woke Walt up, got his breakfast ready and packed his lunch.

Actually the wife bonnet was alternating with the transcriptionist bonnet and the reviewer bonnet, as I finished off the Aida review I'd fallen asleep writing last night, and rushed to finish a report for the psychologist. For awhile there I tossed in the jester's cap, as I chatted and joked on line with Steve and Peggy, one after the other.

Oh yeah, I also put on my peacemaker cap, trying to settle some serious disagreements in the Political Issues forum on CompuServe.

I put on the reporter hat to go to the newspaper office and discuss with my editor the feature story I have to write tonight.

Then I took off that hat and went to the office to begin my day there. At the office, I kept changing hats, starting with housekeeper, then bookkeeper, scheduler, medical assistant, trouble shooter, and whatever hat seemed to float my way at the time.

Now I'm home frantically grabbing the transcriptionist hat, as I finish off the report, after which I'll throw on the reporter hat again and head up to the University to interview some of the actors for Little Shop of Horrors and then come home to write the article.

Then I'll put on my nightcap and try to get some sleep.

That's a lot of hats for someone who hates to wear real hats!

But I've now survived my first day at the office. The vacuum cleaner fell apart when I picked it up and I jammed the paper tray in the fax machine twice, but other than that, I didn't manage to kill anybody or set the place on fire. Dr. G even smiled when I left tonight.

This "half day" business was a misnomer. I arrived at 10:30, fully intending to be gone by 2:30, since the last patient's appointment was at 1:30. But it was 4:45 before I left--and I never did get lunch.

The reason for the long day was discovery of the total mess that everything is in. I worked with F this morning, me at the desk this time, with her answering questions as I went through the stack of work. I really was totally lost. We had a wonderful time chatting and F would put things aside and tell me they weren't important.

But then F went to lunch and D came in to finish my training. D just about fainted when she discovered that F hadn't done much. An as-yet undetermined number of charges were never made. Checks were written on bills Dr. G didn't have the money to pay and had asked her to hold off on. We haven't a clue what the status of the money coming in and the money going out, or of the billing of the patients and the insurance payments is because she just didn't seem to keep records. She told me she "has no head for figures." Heck, I have no head for figures but even I couldn't screw up this badly.

D and I worked until D had to leave and we managed to make several neat piles out of the mountain that was there when I arrived. But now we have to figure out what to do with the piles and set me up with the system D worked out when she had the job. (We're going to meet at the office in Sunday to get it all sorted out.)

In between groaning over the finances, I helped with a couple of patient exams, and I have to tell ya, that I know already that this is going to be my favorite part of the job--even the yucky stuff. I was always fascinated by medical stuff when I was a kid. I read every "nurse" book and "doctor" book I could get my hands on (and still watch all the medical shows). I considered going into nursing, but it was the thought of dealing with the smells and the bed pans and that sort of thing that made me decide it wasn't really my field. I briefly thought about studying medicine, but knew that with my difficulty with science that was completely out.

When I discovered medical transcription, I felt I'd come home. All that terminology I'd been absorbing since I was a kid was finally paying off and I loved knowing how to spell all those big words--and even having a rough idea what they meant. I just loved it.