This is the last from MGGM
WHAT I'M READING...
My Amazon wish list
WHAT I'M WATCHING...
If anybody is looking for an alternative place to donate money this season, I'm not going to make a big pitch this year because you were all so incredibly generous last year, and I don't want to feel that I'm taking advantage of anybody, but Priscilla is again saddled with her 5 grandchildren, is being operated on for her rectal cancer on December 10, and all the resources for Christmas assistance have dried up.
Our family is "adopting" her family again this year, but if anybody would like to make a donation for her Christmas, it can be sent to
and be sure to say that it's for Priscilla, since they are working on finding Christmas assistance for a lot of people.
(I'm including the BB address because I'm uncomfortable that people might think I'm using the money for myself or something.)
PORNOGRAPHY AND OTHER IMPONDERABLES
9 December 2001
I made the mistake of checking my stats the other day. I knew I was getting boring, but it was a shock to see that the daily readership has slipped from 100+ down to ~20-30 each day. I think even Peggy has stopped reading me every day. I know Steve has. I am very grateful to those of you who have hung in there, despite my lack of sparkling wit lately. (I suspect most of the regular readers are related to me and continue to read to find out what I might be saying about you!)
Clearly I need to become more interesting.
What I need to do is to talk about things that are going to get me noticed by search engines. None of this "how I'm spending my Christmas season" jazz. Nothing about The Last Session or the AIDS quilt or fighting the Boy Scouts or dust bunnies or lovely walks I have taken.
Let's really get down and dirty.
How about nude mud wresting? It's not that I actually know anything about nude mud wrestling, but it's the first thing that came to mind and perhaps if I mention nude mud wrestling, a search engine will pick it up and someone will come and check me out.
(I probably should not have passed up the opportunity to go with my cousin to a women's sweat lodge. That might have resulted in some information about nude mud wrestling. Or at the very least about sweaty female nudes.)
Or maybe I could revive the old discussion about penis enlargement. Penises must be good for a search engine hit. And actually, I do know something about penis enlargement. Or I should, since so many advertisers think that I need to have my own penis enlarged. (One ad promised "an inch a day!" I don't even want to think about what that entails, but it has got to be painful!)
If I talk about breasts--even something as innocuous as "breast cancer" or "breast feeding" it will make this entry off limits to young children. But it might pull in a bunch of boobs who are looking for big breasts or little breasts or mostly naked breasts.
Why is it that the thing that seems to elicit the biggest response always has to do with sex? Plain sex. Dirty sex. Pornography. Sex with dogs. Sex with sheep. Masturbation. Sex toys. A journalist's hit counter always goes up when she talks about sex.
Someone said jokingly on TV the other day that the real purpose of the Internet was to download porn. Heck--who has time to download (or even look at) porn with all these journals to read?
But thinking of porn reminds me of my favorite story about my mother-in-law, whom I love a lot. I probably told it here before, but in case I didn't, we gave both grandmas Web-TV a few years back. My mother uses it mostly for e-mail, but Walt's mother got into the whole web surfing thing. She could read the Washington Post on line, for example and check out her other favorite news sites.
One night we were all having dinner together and one of the kids mentioned something about the musical group Bare Naked Ladies. Walt's then 82-year old mother spoke up and said "Yes! I was curious to see what all this pornography on the Internet is all about, so I looked for their web page and was very disappointed to see that it's just a band!"
The idea of a little 82 year old woman searching the net for bare naked ladies, hoping to find a porn site still cracks me up.
So yeah, there's a wealth of information out there to spice up the journal again and bring readers flocking to my site.
I could talk about my so-called lesbian friend (who sleeps with men more often than any other lesbian--or straight woman her age, for that matter--I know) who is into bondage and sadomasochism and who recently had a torrid affair with a dominatrix. But she's a sweet little school marm in real life and I don't want to cause her embarrassment, though I suspect there is little that could possibly embarrass her. Heck, she might think it was good advertising. But no. I will exercise restraint. (Though I suspect "restraint" is one of the items in her bag of tricks). This lady has her own account at the Pleasure Chest, a sex toy shop in North Hollywood. I've never been in it, but I've heard tales.
But I won't talk about any of these things, because really this journal is about me and my life and my frustrations and experiences, and if I have 20-30 of you who enjoy it enough each day to keep reading, well then I'm happy.
But perhaps this little entry will draw a few voyeurs from search engines who feel that the real purpose of the internet is to download porn. I expect my numbers to skyrocket any day now!
Google, do your stuff!
One Year Ago:
My tip of the week: