29 July 2022
I have no trouble with gender identity. If someone is born with female
genitalia but knows in his brain that he is really a male, I have no
problem with him choosing to live as a male...and I know it's not really a
choice anyway. With all the things that go on in creating a life from a
single egg and a cell, it's amazing that so many babies are born with no problem
So transgender is no problem for me.
But the pronouns are!
You have LGBTQ and the first three are easy - lesbian, gay, bisexual. Then
you have transgender and questioning. And what do you call these people?
The current term is "they," which is a neutral pronoun.
So if you have a questioning child who is going to the store for you, do you say
"they ARE going to the store" or "they IS going to the store." "They" is a
plural pronoun and it's awkward to use it to refer to a single person.
A friend of mine had a daughter who felt she was lesbian and then realized she
was transgender and had to be called "they." It's very difficult to talk
to your friend about her child and use the term "they." "How is
they?" "What is they doing?" You wouldn't say "How is THEM?" Maybe at 80
I'm just too old to understand the terminology.
When I was reviewing shows, the most difficult shows to review were the high
school theater. In this day and age, kids aren't given simple names like
"John" or "Mary" but non-gender names like Meili, Grey, Ari or McKella.
When I was going to review one of these shows, I contacted the director to ask
for a cast list and which pronouns to use with which actor.
The pen pal group that I am a member of has a wonderful database for each
member, which gives name, age, interests, etc. There is a column for 'pronouns."
Most are "she/her" but there are a few "they/them"s. And one xie/xer,
which I'd never heard of before. I suppose it's fine to use xie when you
are writing, but how do you pronounce it? Wiki tells me that it is a
gender neutral pronoun set which can be used by anyone regardless of gender
identity or expression.
I am seeing forms these days which include "pronoun used" on them, which is
certainly something new.
And how do you teach pronouns in states, like Florida, which do not allow gender
to be discussed at all.
Pronouns are only difficult for me, but I've been a she/her for my whole life.
Imagine how difficult it is for a person who chooses to be called "they" and
then has to explain it to someone like me.
Apparently it is easier if the language you speak is Farsi:
�Farsi is my 1st language. Farsi, like many
other languages in the Middle East and Southeast Asia, is considered
genderless. In Farsi, we don�t add gender when referring to a person, we
only say this person, that person.
We also have a singular term (ze hir) for a person that is similar to how we
use her/he/she/him but it is genderless. It refers to any person, regardless
of gender identity, that we would be talking about.�