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23 May, 2018

My mother was one of those comatose bodies sitting in the TV room when I arrived at Atria today.  She was sitting next to Tony.  Bonanza was on the screen but there was no indication that anybody even knew that.

I went to sit next to her and kind of pushed her awake, while saying hello.  She showed no recognition, but just asked if it was  time to go to dinner.

She eventually figured out I was someone she knew, but since she asked if I had seen "mom and dad" lately, I think this was one of those days when I was her sister.  She asked what I'd been doing and I always try to think of something very simple that she might relate to, so I told her about the big wedding I had watched on TV and she just said "so are you going?"

At some point she sort of sat up and started giving love taps to Tony on his leg and then snuggled up on his shoulder.  She talked with him and I think I heard her say "I know you don't like this, do you?" but I could have been mistaken.

He then leaned over and looked right at me and said "What. the. hell? What. the. hell?"  He then got up go to sit with another woman, though my mother thought he'd gone to the bathroom and would not let anybody sit in his sat.  So maybe the relationship isn't as mutual as I had been led to believe by the aides that it is.

Tony always seems to have a gleam in his eye when I come into the room, and I notice that as he walks across a room he stops to hold several women's hands.  I'm wondering if his interest in me is not a "hello--you must be the daughter" as it is "oh...fresh meat."  He likes to take me by the hand, and today leaned over across my mother to pick imaginary threads off of my pants.  I'm not feeling too happy about Tony today.

We sat there in more or less silence watching Bonanza and when I said I was watching TV with her she asked where the TV was.

They came and brought everyone a snack, a couple of crackers and some slices of cheese.  I got to have a plate too and we ate our crackers and cheese.

Some girl came in with a CD player and a microphone and announced theycouldsee the end of Bonanza later (I don't think anybody noticed) and that she was going to ask some simple questions and see what people remember.  The first question was the name of the animal that King Kong was.  My mother was up and out of the room in an instant.  She's always terrified of being asked questions and refuses to join in any group activity (the guidance director said she participated in chair exercises for about 10 seconds the other day before getting up and leaving the room).

Getting up and walking out seems to be her latest thing and since she doesn't seem to be aware that I am even there, she just turns her back and leaves.

I got up and tried to find her, but she had disappeared, so I just left.

Tomorrow is her Alzheimers buddy day and maybe Alix will have better luck with her than I did.

What. the. hell? indeed.


Today, the EPA physically prevented a reporter from the AP (!) from attending a public briefing.  Sarah Huckabee refused to comment on the fact that video shows the reporter was physically pushed out of the briefing, saying she would not comment on a "hypothetical situation which may or may not have happened."

Also Leslie Stahl reported that she asked Trump why he’s always attacking the press. His answer: “I want to demean you and discredit you so that when you do negative stories about me, no one will believe you.”

Neither of these things is remotely acceptable in a democracy.

If you missed Rachel Maddow's report on and interview with James Clapper, former director of National Intelligence,  and his new book, "Facts and Fears: Hard Truths from a life in Intelligence," I strongly encourage you to see if you can find it OnDemand or on her web site.  It's chilling.


from our front yard

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