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25 April, 2018

There were no sparks of happiness yesterday.

They had called me from Atria the day before to tell me there had been two cases of flu in the facility and were concerned about my mother's chest congestion and wanted her tested for the flu.

Kaiser had no appointments available, so her doctor said to have her come in for a nurse visit to have her temperature taken and a flu test done.  Doctors visits are her very worst thing.  She hates them.

I called Atria to let them know that I would pick her up around 1 and when I got to Atria, I called to let them know I was there

I really could hardly believe what I saw when they walked her out.  Her affect was so depressed, so could barely move, she didn't look up, and didn't even see me (though I greeted her) until she was buckled in the car and I was starting the car. 

Our trips to the doctor usually consist of either her commenting on every tree in town alternating with asking me where we are going and what is going to happen there.

Other than pointing ahead to the clear skies and trees and saying "isn't that fog beautiful"...

she didn't say a word.  She sat with her hands in her lap, her head looking straight forward with kind of a glazed look, and she didn't love a single tree.

When we got to Kaiser she couldn't figure out how to get out of the car.  I helped her and she was afraid to step up onto the curb because she couldn't lift her leg that high, so I kind of boosted her up.  When she saw how far away the door was, she said she couldn't walk that far and that her legs were going to buckle.  I got her a chair and went to get a wheelchair for her.  It was difficult getting her into the chair because she couldn't get the idea of how to lift her foot to put it on the footrest.

The nurse visit was unremarkable until she did the flu swab, which is a thin probe that swabs the back of her throat.  She told my mother it was going to be "uncomfortable" but my mother screamed "NO! NO!  DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!"

Then I wheeled her back to the car and when I lifted the footrest so she could get out of the wheelchair she didn't understand that she should then put her feet on the ground to stand up.

She was afraid to step off the curb and I had to support and encourage her that she wasn't going to fall.

The ride home was the way the ride to Kaiser had been, total silence and total uninterest in anything around her. 

The aide met us at the back door and we got my mother out of the car and she quietly shuffled back into the building, having forgotten I was there.

I got result of her flu test today and it's positive.  Waiting for word from her doctor about what we do now.


sometimes it feels like this

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