Today in My History

2000: Condomania
2001:  Dress Code
2002:  Don't Tell Bev Things She Already Knows
2003:  Hiding in Houston
2004:  Who Am I Kidding?
The Learning Curve
2006:  Now the Truth Can Be Told
2007: A Slowskys' Delight
2008:  Not a Multi-Media Event
2009:  Sunday Supper
2010:  We're About to Start, Finally
2011:  Death and Parents
2012: A Truly Good Man
2013: Love/Hate Relationship
2014: Sunday Stealing (TV Meme)
2015: Kathy Conner Redux
2016: Clutter is Feelings

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27 April 2017

OK, you guys.  It's your turn.  Time for you to tell me a joke or tell me about something fun, funny, or just nice going on in your life.  I just feel at a real low point and need cheering up.

The day started out well.  I thought I was supposed to work at the hospital, but when I called to double check (because nobody had called to remind me the day before), I discovered that I wasn't scheduled until Friday.

My joy at discovering that I didn't have to go in is an indication of my ambivalence about this volunteer job and how I am on the verge of quitting.  I am not really enjoying it and what keeps me on is that I know they are under-staffed and I feel guilty about leaving the committee in the lurch, but I suspect my resignation is in the foreseeable future, especially if things are continuing the way they did last time, with the security guards doing most of the work and ignoring the person in the "help desk" position.

So with the day free, my task was to write to Brianna and Lacie, since I had not written to them over the weekend.

I had a Benny photo I wanted to include in Bri's letter and I could not find it.  I had seen it just that morning, but didn't remember where.  I will spare you the details, but it took a very long time searching everywhere I could think of until I finally found it in an old text message I had sent to Caroline.

Getting it from text message on my phone to usable photo on my desktop took several steps, but eventually, I had it, was able to edit it and send it off to Bri.  One of those times when I both love and hate technology!

Then I heard from Atria.  We are having a meeting tomorrow to discuss my mother's care.  I don't know what that will entail, but it feels like being called to the principal's office to hear about my child's bad behavior.

I know my mother is on a one-way street, and it is clear that she has slipped down another notch and I don't know what that will mean as far as her care is concerned, but it just gives me knots in my stomach to think of it.  Atria has only her best interests at heart, I know, and am happy with her care, but there is a part of me that wishes I could "fix it" and I know I can't.

Then I had my afternoon depression session, watching MSNBC.  I know I shouldn't, but I do.  There is a masochistic side of me that wants to know how much more of this country was killed today.  There is absolutely nothing on the political scene these days that is hopeful and I feel like this guy.

Only it's not just me walking around under the black cloud, it's all of us.  (This feeling was not helped by watching the old movie Tea with Musollini and watching the dictator come to power, with brown shirted thugs beating people up.  Though I remember from seeing the movie a long time ago that it is basically a sweet story of older British women taking care of a little boy, I had to turn the movie off because I was thinking about the coverage of a redneck motorcycle gang I saw pre-election and how they gleefully talked about hanging "n***ers" or the violence at Trump rallies.  The movie was all too frightfully prophetic.

And then within the space of five minutes I received first an email and then a phone call letting me know that John Rouse, the Lamplighters guy who was recently diagnosed with leukemia, had lost his battle this morning.

He had gone from diagnosis to death in less than a month.

As I said when I talked about this earlier, John was not a close friend, but we have been nodding buddies for many, many years and it's just another example of people in our lives fading away.

As the official note that came from the Lamplighters today said, "He had received the diagnosis of leukemia a few weeks ago, and knew that his time was limited, but responded stoically and philosophically, and wanted to make the most of the days that remained....those of us who spent time with him in these last days feel honored and privileged to have been able to be with him."

John, we will miss you, but your voice, your warmth, and your beautiful spirit will live on in our memories."

As another Lamplighters put it, given that John's is the FOURTH Lamplighters death this year, "Lamplighters giveth - music, love, laughter, family - and Lamplighters taketh away. Broken hearts abound... but I suppose our broken hearts remind us to love each other and create beautiful art during the short time that we're here."

So I need cheering up today.

Tell me something fun.  I hope that I will be feeling less like Joe Btfsplk in the morning, before my meeting at Atria.


RIP, John

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