Today in My History

2000:  The Americanization of Emily
Up Close and Personal
Finding the Key

2004: Marvel the Mustang
2005: I Guess I'm Doomed
A Bed By Any Other Shape
When Juices Flow
2008: I Remember You, Sort Of
2009:  Curmudgeon
2010:  Tools
Milels To Go Before We Sleep
Know When to Fold 'Em
2013: Do You Remember?
2014: The Next Chapter

2015  For Want of a Cord

Bitter Hack
Updated: 10/26
"Impromptu at Versailles"

Books Read in 2016
"The Cat Who Went to Paris"

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updated 7/16

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27 Oct 2016

Any woman who has raised children and is no longer in the baby-birthin' game will surely shake her head at the "must have" baby equipment displayed on the Today Show this week, though I admit that if I had a fussy baby again, and if I was rich, I might be tempted to buy the cradle (which the baby will outgrow very soon) called "smart sleeper" which only costs $1,160. It is purported to be "the world’s smartest, and safest baby bed. It quickly boosts a baby’s sleep and automatically responds to fussing by choosing the right mix of white noise and rocking most likely to soothe them back to sleep. SNOO’s unique 5-second swaddle is easy to use and keeps babies from rolling to the stomach (when used as directed). And, that gives you the precious gift of peace of mind."

For only ~$60 you can get baby his/her first monogrammed shoes:

which s/he will outgrow in about an hour and a half.

For only $250 you can get a changing pad that also takes the baby's temperature (we had puddle pads and anal thermometers).

With the Hatch Baby Smart Changing Pad, you can measure and track the following:

Infant weight and real-time growth data
Feeding amounts for breastfed babies
Diaper changes to make sure your baby is eating enough

"It also synchs automatically with a companion app (the Hatch Baby app), which makes it easy to record nursing sessions, pumping amounts and more of what parents care about." Takes all the fun out of guessing. I can also see nervous new moms freaking out at the slightest change -- or slow change -- in the baby.  Sometimes you can have too much information!

For $70 you can get iThermometer for iPhone. "Thanks to a tiny Bluetooth monitor and patch placed under the arm, this smart thermometer checks on your baby every four seconds without waking them. The Feverfrida then sends this information to your smart phone — so you're constantly aware of when the temperature goes beyond a pre-determined threshold."

Speaking of iPhones, there is a contraption that attaches both a bottle and a cell phone to your wrist and will allow you to interact with your iPhone while giving your baby a bottle so you don't miss a single cat video or Trump meme, but might miss your baby's shy smile as she takes her milk. (I don't think anybody has come up with an attachment that works for breastfeeding mothers).

When I think about bringing Jeri home from the hospital, tossing her into her crib, changing her cloth diaper, and not measuring how much she ate, determining whether she was eating enough by her weight and the number of diapers I changed each day, I just don't know how I possibly got along with all these newfangled gadgets.  But somehow she--and her siblings--survived.

And if nothing else, THAT sure makes me sound like an old fuddy duddy, un-hip grandma.

"Vatican officials also clarified that the new guideline will not be applicable to saints, whose various body parts are scattered in different churches around the world."

This applies to the apparently new ruling by the Vatican that cremains may not be kept at home or scattered.

“It is not permitted to scatter the ashes of the faithful departed in the air, on land, at sea or in some other way, nor may they be preserved in mementos, pieces of jewelry or other objects.”

Well that shoots a whole industry in creating objects out of your loved ones.  Could put the Neptune Society out of business.

That we buried Dave and Paul's ashes had no religious reason.  Simply I wanted to go somewhere where I could put flowers or pour Jim beam over a headstone, or just yell at them for being so stupid....where I could have a headstone that has "FTS" (which stands for "fuck this shit") on it, and a Lawsuit lyric.  And since our kids are there Walt and I have a cremation plot not too far from them.  But I have no qualms about scattering ashes.  I still remember standing in Nice, France with Char and our daughters and scattering Michele's ashes into the Mediterranean because she wanted to go to France all her life and we figured part of her should be there.

I can't understand the Vatican ruling.  But then, what is it to me...?  I'm a recovering Catholic.



Brianna's Halloween costume.

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