Today in My History

2001: Standing in the Shadows
2002: Moving Day
2003: Think of Me Fondly
2004: Lassie
2005 Grief Work

2006: The Rest of the Story
2007 Being Inadequate Again
2008: Do I have to Join the NRA?
2009: The Art (and Frustration) of the Interview!
2010: Solving the Country's Problem
2011: The Road to Wellville
Pooh Bah and the Pill
2013: Sunday Stealing
2014:  The Olympics
Buying a Burger

Bitter Hack
Updated: 2/3
"The Little Mermaid"

Books Read in 2016
 Updated: 2/5
For One More Day"

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Letters from Emily and James

The Philosophy of Juice & Crackers

The story of Delicate Pooh

The story of the Pinata Group

Who IS this Gilbert person anyway?

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10 February 2016

Well, I'm ready to go for another year.

* I've had an OK exam from both of my eye doctors.

* I've gotten a clean bill of health from my dentist.

*And even my doctor had nothing but good things to say.

I can't remember when the last time that happened  I'm used to getting good feedback from the eye doctors, but no suggestions for how to do things better from my dentist and no warnings about things I should be doing from my doctor is new for me.

But then I should have expected it.  Maybe at 73 I'm starting to grow up.

Brushing and flossing regularly led to the good dental appointment.  Even the x-rays came out just fine.  Cindy didn't have to warn me about what dire consequences my teeth were in.

And then there is that "taking your medicines daily" business which I have resisted so effectively for such a long time.  But it's amazing when you actually take the damn pills.  Your body starts doing what the pills are designed to help you do.  Whoda thunk?

When the appointment ended, my doctor said she realized I hated to come in and I corrected her.  I said I didn't mind coming in when I had been doing all the things I was supposed to be doing.  I only hated to come in when I knew I had not been following her instructions.  I have no "white coat terror," hating to see a doctor (like my mother does).  If I did, I would not have worked in doctors' offices for most of my working life! I just hate getting scolded for not doing the things I know I should be doing.

Heck, I even got a clean bill of health from my therapist.  I had not seen Deb in a year.  I started gong to her to get over this block I had about taking the damn pills.  She pronounced me graduated after 3 or 4 months of seeing her, maybe less.  But I realized recently that I was sorely in need of another tune-up.  Not for pills this time, but for my mother.

We talked a lot about my mother and coping mechanisms a year ago but lately her dementia has me climbing the walls and I keep joking that she talks about getting to hunnert but she might not do that because I might kill her first.

There was nothing, of course, that Deb could offer me to make it better and definitely not to make it all go away, but I discovered as I talked to her that what I really needed was somewhere to say it all, to let it all out, to rant an rave in a safe, non-judgmental environment.  By the end of the hour, I felt better.  She reminded me that given my mother's robust good health otherwise there was a good chance that she had several more years ahead of her.  She offered me a follow-up appointment, but I realized I didn't need one.

I didn't come away with any plan to make it better for myself, but just having let out all the frustration helped and I'm starting with a clean slate again.

Now if I can just get my driver's license renewed this week, everything will be behind me for another year.  Last year when I went to renew, I had to take a behind the wheel test because I'm now over 70.  But it was more complicated because I had zero vision in my right eye and the tester told me from now on I would have to have my license renewed annually and always have a driving test.  Bummer.

But now I have vision again.  I probably can't get out of the driver's test this year, but I'm hoping that my newly restored vision will change that "yearly" status and I can get rid of the necessity of having a driving test every year.

By next week it will all be behind me.  I hope.


My cousins Shirley, Peach, my aunt Barb and my mother
Sadly, of this group only my mother is still with us.

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