THE ANNUAL TUNE-UP

10 February 2016

Well, I'm ready to go for another year.

* I've had an OK exam from both of my eye doctors.

* I've gotten a clean bill of health from my dentist.

*And even my doctor had nothing but good things to say.

I can't remember when the last time that happened  I'm used to getting good feedback from the eye doctors, but no suggestions for how to do things better from my dentist and no warnings about things I should be doing from my doctor is new for me.

But then I should have expected it.  Maybe at 73 I'm starting to grow up.

Brushing and flossing regularly led to the good dental appointment.  Even the x-rays came out just fine.  Cindy didn't have to warn me about what dire consequences my teeth were in.

And then there is that "taking your medicines daily" business which I have resisted so effectively for such a long time.  But it's amazing when you actually take the damn pills.  Your body starts doing what the pills are designed to help you do.  Whoda thunk?

When the appointment ended, my doctor said she realized I hated to come in and I corrected her.  I said I didn't mind coming in when I had been doing all the things I was supposed to be doing.  I only hated to come in when I knew I had not been following her instructions.  I have no "white coat terror," hating to see a doctor (like my mother does).  If I did, I would not have worked in doctors' offices for most of my working life! I just hate getting scolded for not doing the things I know I should be doing.

Heck, I even got a clean bill of health from my therapist.  I had not seen Deb in a year.  I started gong to her to get over this block I had about taking the damn pills.  She pronounced me graduated after 3 or 4 months of seeing her, maybe less.  But I realized recently that I was sorely in need of another tune-up.  Not for pills this time, but for my mother.

We talked a lot about my mother and coping mechanisms a year ago but lately her dementia has me climbing the walls and I keep joking that she talks about getting to hunnert but she might not do that because I might kill her first.

There was nothing, of course, that Deb could offer me to make it better and definitely not to make it all go away, but I discovered as I talked to her that what I really needed was somewhere to say it all, to let it all out, to rant an rave in a safe, non-judgmental environment.  By the end of the hour, I felt better.  She reminded me that given my mother's robust good health otherwise there was a good chance that she had several more years ahead of her.  She offered me a follow-up appointment, but I realized I didn't need one.

I didn't come away with any plan to make it better for myself, but just having let out all the frustration helped and I'm starting with a clean slate again.

Now if I can just get my driver's license renewed this week, everything will be behind me for another year.  Last year when I went to renew, I had to take a behind the wheel test because I'm now over 70.  But it was more complicated because I had zero vision in my right eye and the tester told me from now on I would have to have my license renewed annually and always have a driving test.  Bummer.