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Today in My History

2000:  Gay Pride #3--the Big One
2001:  Girl Stuff
2002:  Don't Forget to Register
2003:  So How Are You?
2004:  Fairy Tale Wedding
2005:  40 Years and Counting
2006:  The OTHER Wedding
  Counting Sheep
2008:  Still Cooking After All These Years
2009:  No Charge for the Extra Protein
2010: Life Aboard Ship
Sunday Stealing
2012: ...And  So...

2013: One Little Word: Married

Bitter Hack
Updated: 6/23
Les Miserables

Books Read in 2014
"Written in My Own Heart's Blood"

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Airy Persiflage

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mail to Walt


June 26, 2014

"What are you doing exciting for the rest of the afternoon?" she asked.  I had already answered that question more than half a dozen times in the apartment.  Now it appeared it was going to be the topic through our weekly lunch too.  And it was.  Sometimes she would interrupt me while I was telling her for the xxth time that I was going to finish writing my review and take a nap to ask the question again.

Her brain these days is funny.  Sometimes it amazes me with what she remembers.  She remembered to tell me that Jeri had called her earlier in the day I was visiting.  When she was talking to Jeri she remembered that Phil had been to visit her two weeks before. She remembered that she had been sleeping when the housekeeper came this morning so her bed wasn't made and the housekeeper was going to come back later to make the bed.

When it came time to order lunch, she couldn't remember how big the fruit salad was (though she has eaten it every. single. day. for the past year).   She couldn't remember if it was a plate or a bowl and the waitress had to show her how big the plate was.  Then she wasn't sure if she could eat that much.  Though. she. has. eaten. it. every. single. day. for the past year.

When we got back from lunch, I went to use the bathroom and discovered she was out of toilet paper.  I told her that I noticed she was out of TP and she said "Oh that's right--I was going to call you about that.  I need to start making a list" (of course she has been saying she is going to start making a list ever since she got to Atria, but I was impressed she had remembered she was out of toilet paper).

I told her I would run up to CVS and get her a package.   She said she would have to pay me, but she didn't know if she had checks and she would have to call Ed and ask him to bring her checks.  I reminded her that he had brought her checks and that they were in her purse.  She said she'd get the checks out while I was gone so she could pay me when I got back.

When I got back, she was amazed that I realized she was out of toilet paper because she meant to call me about it and she needed to start keeping a list.  She told me she needed to pay me but she didn't know if she had any checks and she would have to ask Ed to bring her some.  Then she asked me what exciting thing I was going to be doing for the rest of the afternoon.


I'm not depressed about these visits, really.  They just make me sad.  She would absolutely hate it if she knew what she is like today.   This is the thing she talked with me about for years...if she ever got like...this...could I please shoot her, she would joke.  Only now she is like this, and I have no plans for matricide, or to tell her that her worst fears have come true.  (Now her worst fear is having something happen that will force her to be incapacitated and dependent on someone else for her care.)

I love it when family come to visit her because it gives her a new audience and she actually can carry on a conversation that doesn't involve their exciting activities for the rest of the day.

One positive thing today, though, is that I don't think she mentioned "hunnert" once.  Now THAT makes it a good day!

Today Walt and I have been married 49 years.  We are celebrating in a romantic fashion that is typical for us.  Walt is going to the opera in San Francisco.  I am working at Logos and then taking the bus home because Walt will have the car.  I will have dinner alone and I will be asleep by the time he gets home, around midnight.  This is pretty much the way we celebrated last year too (minus the bus ride), but we went out to dinner the next night.

However, I have shows to review Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights, so I'm not sure if we're going to get dinner out at all.  We'll have to do a super duper fancy dinner a year from now, when the 50th rolls around.

The story of our wedding is here


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49 years ago today.


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