Today in My History

2000:  Brown Paper Packages Tied Up with String
2001:  The Bride was a Real Bitch
2002:  Here We Come a-Caroling
2003:  Lesbian Porn
2004:  Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
Party Girl
2006 Six Weird Things
2007:  Chunk on a Chair
2008:  Ho Ho Ho and a Bah Humbug
2009:  Who Invited the Grinch?
2010:  Baubles, Bangles, Bright Shiny Beads
Monday Stealing
2012: The Cruel Brain
2013:  I've Created Monster

Our 2014 Christmas Letter

Bitter Hack
: 12/10
The Fantasticks
The Santaland Diaries

Books Read in 2014
 Updated: 11/21

"Exceptional Depravity"

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The Philosophy of Juice & Crackers

The story of Delicate Pooh

mail to Walt


20 December 2014

Around about 3:30 this afternoon, I decided that I suck at being a grandmother. By 9, I was feeling better about it.

Tom asked if we could pick Bri up after school and "entertain her" for the afternoon, which we were thrilled to do.  He gave Bri several suggestions of places she might want to go. She chose the bowling alley, which also has arcade games.

She was definitely in charge.  She knew the drill, knew where we had to go to get everything.  I decided that bowling with a cane was probably not a good idea, so I sat it out and Walt, Alice Nan and Bri played.  Bri was very solicitous of us old people and was careful to give Alice Nan and Walt instructions in how to hold a ball and how to better their score by throwing differently.  Of course in the end, it was Bri with the high score.

I should add parenthetically that when it was Bri's turn, a barricade popped up, making it impossible for her to get a gutter ball.  Neat way for kids to learn without getting depressed about the number of gutter balls they get.  (Though I should mention that Bri needs to learn that you don't throw a bowling ball overhand!)  Alice Nan was scoreless for 3 frames, but eventually came to life and nearly got up there with Walt. But Bri won anyway.

Then it was time for arcade games.

She was a whiz, running from token buyer to one game after the other, at top speed racking up points to be used for prizes later, all the while to the background noise of music and kids screaming. Alice Nan (who sometimes escorts Bri places and has done this "grandma' bit more than I have) and Walt were keeping up with her, I was fading fast.

I left to get some quiet and to visit the ladies room.  On the way back, I stopped to check with Tom that it was OK to take her to the yogurt shop across the street (since it was nearly 5 p.m. and I didn't want to spoil her dinner) and to drop a text to Char saying "I suck at being a grandma." I realize I had hit the wall and Bri had barely broken a sweat since we left school several hours earlier.

We went across the street to get yogurt.

While we were there, we were noticing the security camera hanging on the wall.  Walt, Alice Nan and Bri went out to check it out and have me take their picture off of the TV monitor.  Then Bri whispered to me that I should be sure to take her picture.  She disappeared and I snapped her picture when she appeared on screen.  When I looked at it, I realized what she was doing.

She is growing up fast!!!

It made me happy when Alice Nan told Bri she would not be going back to her house to do "family movie night" and when Bri asked "are Grandma and Grandpa coming?" and learned we were, she yelled "YAY!"  I think we are finally friends.  We had a great chat over yogurt about her "Passport" program that I bought for her, where she learns about a different country each month.  Best conversation I've had with her ever.

We we went to Family Movie Night.  First Bri showed me her "Advent Calendar," a program I buy each year from Jacquie Lawson and have sent to Tom.  Very, very fun activities to do each day in December and Bri has really made the most of them.  we must have spent an hour decorating ornaments, wrapping packages, and making vases of flowers to decorate the living room (which is the home page of this program).

Movie Night was The Santa Clause and I loved more than the movie, watching Tom watching his kids watch the movie!

I'm still not sure what Lacie was supposed to be.

We stayed until the girls had taken their baths and told us good night.  Bri gave me a big hug without being asked to and both of the girls at some point during the movie came to lie in my lap.  So maybe I don't suck as much as I felt I did earlier in the day!

All in all, a really wonderful day with Brianna (and shorter time with Lacie).


The Bowling Team

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