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Today in My History 2000: "Forever" friends2001: No entry 2002: An Old Dog's New Tricks 2003: The Not So Proud and the Profane 2004: Just GO, Already 2005: Thru the Years 2006: A Life in Books 2007: Lord of the Rings 2008: The Large Family BITTER HACK O What a Beautiful Morning (feature story about "Oklahoma") Books Read in 2009 Updated: 4/23 "A Thousand Splendid Suns" Recipes for Cousins Day Drinks Home Remedies VIDEO OF THE DAY / WEEK / WHATEVER
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PLEASE DON'T PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM 6 May 2009 According to "The Chronicle of Higher Education,"
(Complete article here.) Using music as torture opens a whole new set of possibilities for those WMDs that we've been looking for in Iraq. Rumor has it that the military gave no more than a cursory glance at that big box of old Barry Manilow 8-track tapes in Saddam's palace. Nobody had any second thoughts about the "Collected Works of Donovan" and only smiled at the stack of Tiny Tim LPs. Now it appears there may have been something more sinister at play.
Walt has been known to happily get off the freeway for a real meal in a restaurant on threat of having to listen the original cast recording of "The Last Session" one more time (or worse, Steve Schalchlin singing the songs from the show.) The possibilities are endless. If music replaces waterboarding as torture for our prisoners, does that mean that the decor in prisons will be changed?
Prisoners will now be issued iPods that can't be turned off. Guards will carry boom boxes as they make their rounds. Florence Foster Jenkins will become the ultimate weapon at Guantanamo Bay.
Why didn't I know that music could be used as punishment when the kids were young? Think of the opportunities I missed. "If you kids don't clean up your room, I'm going to play my Judy Garland records!" Oh nooooo! Not that. Anything but that! Life could have been so much more pleasant and less stressed. I shouldn't give Walt ideas, but I figured out how to keep me on the treadmill. Hook it up to a machine which plays only atonal, modern, "splat" kind of opera (or Wagner's Ring Cycle) that can only be silenced by walking on the treadmill. Stop walking, the music starts again. I'd look like Calista Flockhart in a matter of weeks. The thing that's really ironic about all this is that you must read this entry by Steve to see the other side of this issue! From Judith Jackson: "Both American Idol and Biggest Loser are down to their final four tonight. Maybe someday they will combine the 2 shows, and we'll know it's over when the Fat Lady sings..." |
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Happy Cinco de Mayo
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MILES TO NOWHERE: 105 miles |
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