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WHO'S ON FIRST?
19 December 2009
It's really not that complicated.
Peach is holding the Cousins Day Christmas party tomorrow night (because we didn't get our floor put in on time and the house isn't ready for company). My mother is coming. I am driving to San Rafael tomorrow morning to pick her up, stopping by here on the way home to get Walt, driving to Peach's, having the party, going back the next morning to pick her up again and taking her back to San Rafael. However, making these arrangements ends up sounding like an Abbott and Costello routine.
The people involved are my mother (age 90), my cousin (age 70), Walt (age almost 70) and me, the kid, at 66. Alzheimers runs in my family.
First there is the gift business. In previous years, we have each brought white elephant gifts and much hilarity ensued as each person opened the gift. This year we are to buy a "good" gift for a man or a woman and we'll still play the same gift game. $15 minimum, I was told. I wrote to Peach "$15 MINIUMUM"? I knew lots of people in the family are having financial problems and that seemed rather steep. "It's XMAS!" she replied.
I asked Peach if my mother knows, because I know that she especially is hurting financially this year.
I called my mother to make sure she knew. Well, it's the first she's heard of it, she tells me. But she'll pick up something for $15.
I get an e-mail back from Peach: "Yep, your mom knows, she was the one that got so upset last year cause she got a flag holder and said that she had no need for it and didn't like doing that, so we thought it would be better if we got real presents instead of white elephant gifts."
In the meantime, Jeri is flying in tonight and spending the night at Ned's. She and Walt are going to see "The Nutcracker" in Sacramento Sunday morning, but we only have one car and I need the car to take my mother home. The plan is to take Walt to Ned's house, pick up Jeri then drive back to Peach's house, pick up my mother and drive her back to San Rafael.
First my mother and I discuss this plan and she talks about how she hates to put me out by having me do all that driving. I tell her I don't mind. I give her the option of bowing out if she doesn't want to come, but she insists she does. We say goodbye and she says "so, I'll see you Christmas morning, then." Uh. No. I remind her that I will see her on Saturday, not on Christmas morning.
Then I tell Peach the story and say Monday instead of Saturday and Peach is confused because they won't even be home on Monday.
Then I talk to Walt about the driving arrangements for Monday and he says "you're picking your mother up at Peach's?" (incredulously), though we have discussed this several times.
By this time I'm laughing hysterically because in all the conversations, voice-to-voice or in e-mail, that I've had with anybody involved in these arrangements, NOBODY has agreed on the arrangements--or remembered the arrangements.
And to prove the point, when I sat down to write this entry, 30 minutes after Walt and I discussed the arrangements for Monday, I couldn't remember what we had discussed and when I asked him what it was, he couldn't remember either.
We may have to make arrangements to move into "the home" sooner than anticipated.
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