Books Read in 2007
My Favorite Video Blogs
(for others, see Links page)
Hero Pit Bulls
Opening Night, "The Big Voice" (part 1)
"Imagine" Peace Project
College Conservatives on Iraq
Book Trailer for "Schuyler's Monster"
Family Stories Vlog
New on My
I HATE THEM ALL
8 August 2007
I hate dogs.
I hate them with a passion.
Especially this morning.
They're out to get me.
Last night was terrible. Another of those "insomnia nights." After trying to get to sleep for over an hour, I snuck out of the living room and played on the computer for awhile. I created my own bizarre version of Van Gogh's "Starry Night" (see photo of the day). I got the idea from this photo, by my friend James, on Flickr.
(James is a very sick man. Check out his Snow White collection)
Anyway, I snuck back into the living room, trying not to wake the puppies. I should add, parenthetically, that I had decided to try letting them sleep in the Hobbit Hole (the closet under the stairs), where they spend much of their daytime time and where they love to sleep behind the bins of towels (What? You don't have bins of towels under your stairs? Obviously you do not have unhousebroken puppies living with you!). Usually right before Walt or I call it a night, one of us (usually Walt) will take the puppies out of the closet and put them in the playpen. This wakes them up and they start howling and barking and trying to get out. Once they settle down, they sleep all night, so I thought -- why not see what happens if I don't wake them at all.
The only real problem is that they aren't allowed in the living room (the only room with an actual rug), and it's blocked off during the day, but when I sleep in there, the door is opened. I hoped that it would be so dark that even if they wandered about they wouldn't think of going there.
I finally did get to sleep after a lot more tossing and turning. I don't know what time it was, but it had to be around 3.
It was still dark when Lizzie leaped on a puppy and another puppy tried to leap on me. They were all awake. They were all just thrilled to discover me there on the couch, and they were all Very Hungry.
I staggered to my feet and tried to wade through the short bodies clustered around my ankles and the leaping, whirling dervish, Lizzie, who was so excited that I was upright. I tried to move to the recliner and sleep just a bit more but the puppies pulled the blanket off of me and Lizzie wouldn't get off of my stomach and stop licking my face.
It was actually cold with the back door opened (and the dogs not allowing me to have a blanket), so I got into my bathrobe and slippers and then fed them all, standing guard at the puppies' bowls to keep Lizzie from stealing their food (which she always tries to do). Sheila knows to stand back, watch them like a hawk, and not move in until they have moved on.
I also made coffee and soon Walt showed up. I left him in charge and I went back to the recliner and fell asleep. I actually slept until 10 a.m., when Lizzie decided I'd slept enough, took a flying leap, landed smack dab in the middle of my stomach and started licking my face. I could hear Walt out in the kitchen whispering and hissing at her to get off of me, but the damage had been done.
As soon as I sat up, furry bodies came running from all over the house — "She's awake! She's awake!" — and tried to jump up on me. I waded through the flock to the coffee pot and that's when my nether regions decided to complain.
Now, I will advise you not to have an sort of intestinal problem if you happen to be the deity of furry beings who worship at your feet. Literally. I shuffled down the hall, puppies on each foot, Lizzie leaping for my face and I tried to open the bathroom door to get inside.
We've had the start of some problem with cockroaches showing up in the bathroom recently and though we don't like using poison, Walt finally got desperate enough to set out some roach motels (which seem to be working, thank goodness). The very last thing I wanted was to let a puppy in and find a roach motel. But try to keep them out! Put one out and two more rush in, eager to explore. I felt like the Sorcere's Apprentice. It was a race to see which would happen first — I manage to get the door closed with me on one side and dogs on the other, or my hindquarters explode.
Fortunately, I managed to get the puppies locked outside just in time. They all sat there waiting for me, and then I shuffled back to the back of the house, puppies attached to each foot again, Lizzie leaping in jubilation because our 2 minute separation was finally ended.
The incident was repeated several times throughout the morning, as I was hit with another wave of "something" and had to shuffle back down the hall with puppies attached to my slippers and try to keep them out of the bathroom.
I don't mean to sound whiny. It's nice being loved, but just once in awhile, I wish they didn't care so much.
Tomorrow's entry will be posted late. It's not cousins' day, but equally fun. I'll tell you about it when I get it written.
PHOTO OF THE DAY
This is entry #2689