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11 March 2006

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire has just been released on DVD and millions more people are going to hell.

JK Rowling.jpg (30217 bytes)J. K. Rowling looks like a nice lady, but obviously she can't hide the fact that she wasn't really out to write a nice kid's story, that she is really in the employ of the Dark Lord (not Voldemort--the other Dark Lord) and her ultimate nefarious plan was to lead more people to to the gates of hell.

Or so purports Father Gabriele Amorth, an exorcist and president of the Association of Exorcists, who claims that "Behind Harry Potter hides the signature of the king of the darkness, the devil."

Now, in the first place I didn't realize that there were so many exorcists running around that they needed their own association, but apparently it's a booming business.  (Can't you just imagine the fun at exorcist conventions?)

Amorth himself, he explains in his book, "An Exorcist Tells His Story," sees 10 clients a day, give or take, for demonic possession, obsessions, and  "lower-grade infestations."  (What do you suppose a "lower  grade infestation" might be?  Demonic fleas?)

I guess that you can't just take two aspirin and hope for the best, even for a lower grade infestation.

I'm also wondering if "exorcist" is a salaried position.  Does it come with health benefits?  Surely doing constant battle with the Devil deserves hazard pay and is frought with possibilities for physical injury.  At the very least they must suffer PTSD (Post Tilting-at- Satan Disorder).

Amorth has been fighting the good fight against the Harry Potter books for a long time, but with the latest DVD about to be released, the fight has begun anew, reports the UK's Online Sun, in a headline that blares:  POTTER LURES KIDS TO SATAN.

"You start with Harry Potter, who comes across as a likeable wizard, but you end up with the Devil.

"There is no doubt that the signature of the Prince of Darkness is clearly within these books.

"By reading Harry Potter a young child will be drawn into magic and from there it is a simple step to Satanism and the Devil."

HPBook1.jpg (11384 bytes)Amorth has the firm backing of the new Pope, a man whose feet are firmly rooted in some former century, and who states that the stories are brimming with "seductions which act unnoticed and by this deeply distort Christianity in the soul, before it can grow properly."

And the Catholic church wonders why its ranks are shrinking.

If you combine all the pedophiles who are being hauled into court, the gay priests who are being thrown out just because they are gay (even if celibate), and all the folks who think that Harry Potter is safe to read and that the pope and his cronies are just plain silly and then add in all the people who are appalled at the Church's stand on...well, just about everything, it's a wonder there are enough people to fill all those expensive pews at all, or enough priests to say Masses.

Which may explain the need for an exorcist's association.  With so many of us turning our backs on the church, taking our dollars and going elsewhere, leaving the pews in droves, I suppose that there is a feeling that Satan is alive and thriving in this country.

But then there are those who are going on the offensive.  Take the town of "Ave Maria, Florida," a town proposed by Domino's Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan, which will be "governed by strict Catholic principles, with no place to get abortion, pornography, or birth control."    (They probably won't allow wire coat hangers either--too risky.)

Welcome to the 16th century, folks!

But the pizza magnet says that he knows this is "God's will" (I wonder if God spoke to him through some pepperoni, since religious images seem to be very big in food these days, with with Mary on a tortilla and all...).  Never mind that all this is totally unconstitutional.  The constitution appears to be disposable these days anyway, from the top of the government, down the Pizza City, Florida.

"I believe all of history is just one big battle between good and evil. I don't want to be on the sidelines," Monaghan, who sold Domino's Pizza in 1998 to devote himself to doing good works, said in a recent Newsweek interview."

Well, I never realized that a slice of Domino's pizza was a statement about good and evil. 

Not surprisingly, the Governor of Florida (you know him--he's the guy who is related to that other fellow who believes he is on a Godly mission to blow up the Middle East), "lauded the development as a new kind of town where faith and freedom will merge to create a community of like-minded citizens."

It's probably safe to assume that Harry Potter books and videos will not be available in the book stores in Ave Maria.  I wonder if they will revive the old Legion of Decency, which my parents used to read each week to decide what movies we could and could not see.  Probably unnecessary, since I'm sure nothing stronger than a PG rated movie will be allowed to be shown in the local movie houses.

In the meantime, I'm going to grab myself a bowl of split pea soup, sit back and watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and see what happens.

Check this incredibly cute video (not mine)


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Lemons in Santa Barbara


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