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TOO BIG FOR YOUR BRITCHES
24 February 2006
I think I've finally reached my "perky overload." Rachael Ray is starting to get to me.
The militantly adorable Ms. Ray now seems to be on the Food Network 24/7. There's her 30 Minute Meals, and her $40/Day travel segment and I don't know what else. She's making the network talk show circuit and she seems to have revved up her already high motor to an even higher level.
I didn't realize why I was beginning to find her so irritating until I started watching her left hand.
She recently married her "sweetie" so she now sports a wedding ring. I found that when I find an episode that doesn't irritate me too much, which doesn't seem too terribly hyper, which isn't overloaded with cute little Rachel-isms ("get some cinnamon action goin' here..."), she isn't wearing her wedding ring...i.e., it was a show that was recorded earlier in her career with The Food Network. She was still cute, she was informative, she was entertaining, but she didn't seem to be cooking on crack all the time.
I've also discovered the same thing about Giada DiLaurentiis (Everyday Italian). She hasn't married over the course of her show, but either her kitchen or the angle at which they shoot her kitchen has changed, so you can tell which are the earlier shows. In the most recent episodes, she becomes more orgasmic in discussing food, displays more cleavage, and has added at least another 4 or 5 teeth to her already toothy smile.
I read somewhere that there were complaints when Emeril got an evening show and started playing to an audience. I think that's why they still keep "The Essence of Emeril" because it's just a man and a camera and a bunch of food, without the applause and the band and the hoopla.
Even down-home cholesterol-laden Paula Deen seems to have fallen victim to the fame syndrome. Her more recent shows are featuring her boys (is she grooming them to take over the show? To do their own show?), and the interplay among the three is sometimes not at all pleasant to watch. They even bleeped a bad word from the grandmotherly Paula the other day when she got upset at one of the young men as she tried to wrest something out of his hands.
The Food Network is now going mainstream and these guys (along with a lot of the other Food Network stars I don't watch...believe it or not, I do not spend my entire day watching cooking shows!) are now recognized on the streets, they get guest spots on all the big shows, and I think that the result of all this notoriety is beginning to show up on their shows. Either that or they are now so comfortable with the whole filming process that they have settled in and are developing their own style.
Problem is that I'm either finding the "style" irritating, or else I'm just on cooking show overload.
I seem to go in spurts like that. I finally gave up on Regis and Kelly. Yeah--I admit I used to watch them. Kelly was a vast improvement over Kathy Lee, but the two of them (Regis and Kelly) sometimes seem to share a brain.
I am often appalled at the things they don't know, the words they can't pronounce, and Kelly's fawning over anything in pants under the age of 30 who walks in the room.
So what's left when you give up on the standard daytime TV fare and still want something on in the background while you work (so you can't read a book), and get antsy when it's music that is on? Well, those Little House on the Prairie and Waltons reruns. Only I'm starting to realize that most of the actors who were the kids on The Waltons couldn't really act. Either they couldn't act or the scripts weren't as good as I remembered them.
Even the venerable Little House began to show feet of clay. It was the day when I saw Ma giving the newborn a bottle that I rolled my eyes. Here are people who chop their own wood, build their own buildings, make all their own clothes, don't have refrigeration, don't seem to own a cow, and yet Ma is feeding the baby by bottle, in days before pasturization and before formula was manufactured?
Oh, Michael Landon, how could you?
That same episode had the midwife trying to keep the older girls from seeing their newborn brother and then finally allowing "just a minute" because "I don't want you to give the baby germs."
Germs had only recently been identified by Louis Pasteur in France and the idea that a midwife in a backwater town in Minnesota would have heard of germs, much less be concerned that children who live in the same two-room house with the baby might pass them along, just required me to suspend too much disbelief.
Maybe I'm OD'ing on daytime TV, but it does keep me transcribing during the day. If I had to do nothing all day long but listen to the psychiatrist drone on and on and one, I'd call Rachael Ray personally and beg her to get a little cookin' action goin' for me here.
In Part 3 of Sedona,
Arizona, Paul talks about the residents of Sedona and his experiences with vortexes.
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Emeril Lagasse and friends