KILLING THE DOG
6 June 2005
"I'm going to kill the dog," I wrote to Peggy this morning. "You'll understand, won't you?"
I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
My mother was here and spent the night up in the guest bedroom, where Sheila usually sleeps. I explained to Sheila that grandma would be sleeping in her bed tonight, but I don't think she understood.
I was up quite late working on a project that I started late because of watching Hotel Rwanda first, and then America's Funniest Home Videos (which I haven't seen in literally years, but which was particularly funny last night).
Anyway, by the time I finally called it a night, it was about 1:30. I blocked off the dog door (because Sheila sometimes likes to go out at 5 a.m. and bark, which--surprisingly--the neighbors don't appreciate), and I settled myself into the recliner to go to sleep.
Sheila wasn't really sure what to do. I had put down blankets for her to make a bed but she had this squeak toy in her mouth--one that squeaks very softly--and I could hear her walking around downstairs squeaking it softly, like she was trying to figure out what to do.
She must have finally settled down because I went to sleep, but at 5 a.m. she decided that I needed to get up.
Now she's very sneaky. She used to try to wake me up by jumping up and landing both of her front feet on my stomach. She learned real quickly that this is NOT permitted.
Then she would come up next to wherever I was sleeping and just start licking my elbow, but I would pull the covers up over all of my exposed body parts and ignore her.
Now she has devised a fool-proof way to get me up, and the little stinker knows it, too!
Now when she wants me to wake up, she wakes Kimba up instead.
Kimba sleeps in her dog bed and sleeps very soundly until at some point, usually when Sheila realizes that I'm about to actually wake up, Sheila will go over to her and bring her huge paw down WOMP on Kimba's back. (Walt says it's like a Miss Piggy karate chop -- "Hi-yaaaa!" ) Kimba then staggers out of her bed, Sheila crouches down in her "I'm bored, come play with me" stance, and Kimba starts that high pitched, ear shattering, yappy bark that we didn't know she had for 12 years, until Sheila brought it out of her.
Kimba barks. and barks. and barks.
But my mother was upstairs asleep and I didn't want to wake her up, so as soon as I realized that Sheila was pacing around and was about to wake Kimba up, I leaped out of the chair, called sweetly to her and started talking to her and petting her to distract her from waking Kimba up.
Now she had me. I was awake.
She started to whine at the door and I figured she had to pee, so I let her outside. It was just barely light. She made a beeline for the back fence and started to bark. I quickly called her back in and she came running back in.
She was so happy.
So pleased that I was finally awake. She kept trying to let Kimba know that Mom was awake and that it was playtime, and finally Kimba did realize that there was activity in the room and got up, but I wouldn't let Sheila give her the invitation to play and kept distracting them so Kimba wouldn't bark.
Finally I realized that there was no way I was going top get any more sleep and I did the only thing that is guaranteed to quiet them both down. I came in here to my office and sat down at the computer.
Immediately the two dogs curled up at my feet and went back to sleep.
I am going to kill the dog.
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Don't tell Sheila, but I miss Chippa. (photo by Peggy)