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STOP THE PRESSES!!!!
16 January 2005
The Federal Government has just released the information that it has been gathering for apparently decades. It was the lead story on all the major news programs, beating Brad and Jen out of the headlines. The Today Show did a big segment on it.
The researchers say that the secret to weight loss is.....
*** Eat Less and Exercise More! ***
My God! Whoda thunk? It never entered my mind that it was so simple. That's all I have to do--eat less and move more.
Well. With such groundbreaking news as this, I should be thin in no time.
All I have to do is give up white bread, give up butter, eat lots of vegetables, stop salting my food, and exercise an hour a day.
What a revelation!
I have news for the government.
Every. single. fat. person. in. this. country. knows all this stuff. Anybody who has ever stepped on a scale and groaned at the numbers knows that in order to lose they have to eat less and exercise more.
There may be those totally oblivious people out there who truly believe that eating a diet of grapefruit for 6 months will solve all their problems, or that popping a pill will allow them to lounge on the sofa and eat all the bon bons they want and still stay slim and beautiful, but anybody with half a brain cell knows in their heart of hearts that the way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more.
And even if they didn't know it, anybody with a television has been subjected to infomercials, Oprah, Dr. Phil, and a host of experts on any talk show you can name who have been saying that the way to lose weight is to exercise more, eat less, and eat more of the healthy stuff.
I don't really think there is a single even slightly intelligent person who believes in the Chocolate and Cream Puff diet as an effective way to turn fat into muscle.
They say that if you let babies eat whatever they want and let them go on binges, when you look back at the food they have eaten over a period of time (like a week), you'll see that they've actually eaten a balanced diet, even if it was all fruit one day, all meat the next, etc.
I've been trying the "baby diet" for years, and just going with my cravings.
(As Dr. Phil would say, "...and how's that working for you?")
I guess that the ability to crave healthy things leaves the older you get. I can honestly say that I have never had a craving for broccoli or spinach.
Walt and I discovered how genetics play into this whole weight/health business this week.
In the past month, we both have seen our doctor (ironically, it's the same doctor) and both had lab tests run. Yesterday our lab tests arrived.
I, who live on fats and whose most strenuous exercise is moving from the desk to the refrigerator, have a cholesterol which is slightly under the recommended cut-off high point. Walt, who lives on greens, who actually does crave vegetables, and who rides his bike everywhere, has a cholesterol level which is nearly 100 points higher than mine. We've both been put on a cholesterol-lowering medication, so we will now have his and hers pill bottles.
This is the first time in his life that Walt has gone on medication for an indefinite period of time and he's having difficulty adjusting to the fact. It probably wouldn't have hit him so hard if it hadn't been that he's been getting deluged with Medicare information as he approaches his 65th birthday.
But getting back to the subject of this entry, I'm all excited now to know the real secret to weight loss. I'm gonna try that business of eating more and moving less.
Right after I finish this box of truffles and that carton of ice cream and watch all of the Netflix movies sitting here.
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