I don't care
to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
~ Groucho Marx
One Corpse Too Many
Something's Gotta Give
TODAY on TV
Six Feet Under
--> NEW CONTENT HERE! <--
3 May 2004
I stumbled across a collaboration called "Word Goddess" the other day. (Actually, I followed a link on I can Fly.) Its a group of women journalists. These are the guidelines:
Sounds OK, and I do enjoy writing on collaboration topics, so I wrote to ask to be accepted as a member of the group. But apparently, I didnt make the cut and in the information it specifically states, "You may suggest your site, but please keep in mind that the members of the ring have busy offline lives and, chances are, if you haven't heard back within a week then your site has not been accepted. Please do not write back and ask for a personal review."
Rejected. Again. The story of my life.
Well, screw 'em. The nice thing about collabs like this is that whether they let you into the executive washroom or not, they do publish their monthly topics on the web site, and April's was "annoying," so I thought I'd think about some of the things that I find annoying.
Snobby clubs that don't want to have me as a member.
Bigotry and intolerance. Sweeping condemnation of whole groups of people without taking time to know individual members of that group.
Cards stuck inside magazines (ever read O Magazine? It's more cards than content, I swear!). The first thing I do when I get a magazine is to remove all the cards, before I try to read the magazine itself.
Reality TV. (Unless it's "The Apprentice," of course)
Any sort of packaging that it takes a bazooka--or a death ray--to open. You can't get to a potato chip--or a CD--without putting your life at risk.
People who insist on talking in the theatre, or singing along with the music. Grrrr!
Spam. Read my fingers: I DO NOT WANT MY PENIS ENLARGED.
404 Not found
TV "seasons" that are six weeks long.
Telemarketers (though this has improved considerably since I signed up with a "do not call" service a couple of years ago).
People who quote Leviticus as a condemnation of homosexuality, without following any of the other exortations in that list of rules for living (like killing your kids if they disobey you).
The limit of 6" of leg room they give you on most flights these days....and then they ask you to put your carry-ons under the seat in front of you, reducing that 6" to 2", to make room in the overhead bin for those people who have LARGE carry-ons.
People who bring large carry-ons onto a plane.
Loud music (if it's in YOUR car and it's too loud for ME, you'd better start looking around for good looking hearing aids, 'cause you're gonna be needing them soon.)
Recorded messsages from politicians left on my answering machine.
Laugh tracks, especially when things aren't funny.
Slimey things I've forgotten in the vegetable drawer which you then have to lift out and are all yucky and gooey. (Zucchini gone bad comes to mind!)
Airline food. Would it kill them to give us a whole ounce of peanuts instead of a quarter ounce? Or how about those stale pretzels...
Six empty slots at the post office and only 2 employees working, when the line of customers stretches out the door and into the street.
Street people who complain that whatever you give them isn't enough.
Discovering just a split second too late that there is no toilet paper in the bathroom.
Windows-ME (thank God I no longer have it!)
People who use a napkin to blow their nose, and then wipe the table with the same napkin. Euuwwww.
Hardboiled eggs that won't peel right so you end up with big chunks taken out of the egg.
Clutter. Clutter is my life, but I still find it annoying.
Friends who just drop you from their life, and you never know why--and never hear from them again.
The guy who hosts "The Planet's Funniest Animals."
People who don't know the difference between there and their, or between you're and your.
High fashion--not only are outfits designed for size 0 but I wouldn't be caught dead in most of the stuff, even if I were a size 0.
Fashion magazines that glorify anorexia.
People who talk on their cell phones constantly. Cell phones have their use, but all the time?
TY stations that raise the volume automatically for commercials.
Oh yeah--and George Bush.