It's my belief that computers aren't something you use like you would a Stairmaster. You can't get a workout on it in a half-hour. You need to have it as part of your life.
~Elisabeth Stock Computers for Youth, as quoted by The New York Times.
TODAY on the TELE
fog in the morning, sun in the afternoon
ABOUT THAT ARM...
22 January 2004
I was vacuuming the family room today and thinking about how to describe how my arm feels.
For one thing, I was using my arm to vacuum. That was new.
It wasnt that I wasnt aware of my arm. But I hadnt been able to vacuum with it for a long time, and suddenly there I was, pushing the vacuum.
Ive been discovering weird ways around the things that I do which make it hurt. For example, if I cut something with the normal knife pushed in a downward position, it hurts like hell. But if I turn the item being cut on its side, and cut sideways, blade held at a parallel to the cutting surface, it doesnt hurt at all. Its awkward to cut that way, but it doesnt hurt.
You know how a cut heals? Let me see if I can describe this so it makes sense to some people. You may have a deep cut that hurts a lot and there comes a day when the hurt changes. It still hurts. It may still hurt as much as it has been hurting, but somehow it feels like a healing pain. I cant think of any other way to describe it. But thats how my arm is feeling these days.
Some things hurt less. When I first started riding my bike again, the worst part was starting up from a standing stop. It still is. The motion of pulling yourself up onto the seat in one fluid motion (well, as much as I am capable of creating a "fluid motion" at anything!) was a tremendous jolt to my arm and I would then ride for the next half block with the arm held down, "recovering."
Well, Im still aware of the jolt, but its not as bad as it used to be. Its bearable now, and I dont feel the need, most of the time, to give it that "resting" position.
I can also sort of scrub plates or pots if I get the angle right. I cant quite do things the way I did before the accident, but the skills are coming back and my body is adjusting to just doing things in slightly different positions. For the first time Im not discouraged about the continuing pain. Im starting to feel like maybe I will actually "heal" in time.
I even chose to go through the park this morning, on the way to work, instead of on the city streets. The park has rolling hills and I knew it would be some uphill work. These are mole hills. They arent even "dreaded overpass" height, but it just felt like a nice morning to enjoy the thick fog and pedal uphill. I almost kinda started to feel my legs responding to the demand for more power. That was a good almost kinda feeling.
While I was feeling all these physical feelings, Walt was off checking out the car. Not surprisingly, the CD player had been removed ("ripped out" is such an ugly descriptive term, isnt it!) and his raincoat was gone, but there wasnt really anything else of value in the car. A bonus is we apparently acquired a cell phone, which was left in the glove compartment. Not ours. I have a feeling we should call someone very far away (nobody that we know, so the call wouldnt be traceable to us) and run up a really big phone bill! But we wont.
Next step is to have the car towed to someplace which can put it back in working order for us (the ignition was also ripped out, so it cant be driven, apparently). We dont know how long all the repairs are going to take, but we have our rented Chevy until its all done.
It appears that we are on the way to getting our car back.
And Im finally on the way to getting my arm (and my old life!) back.
There is hope.
What is your favorite....
....song... John Denver's "For You"
....food... Fresh cracked Dungeness crab
....tv show... West Wing
....scent... Real roses; freshly baked bread
....quote... You can only make a difference when you care.
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Took this at the park this morning,
Weight Lost to date: 46.8 lbs