Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
~ Helen Keller
A life lived in fear is a life half lived.
~ Spanish proverb
I finished Season 3 of The Sopranos while cleaning out the Tupperware cabinets and fixing lunch.
Breakfast: French Toast (WeightWatcher variety)
Lunch: Leftover turkey tacos
Dinner: We're taking Walt's mother out to dinner tonight.
Sunny, but chilly. By 3 p.m., it was good biking weather after all.
ONCE UPON A DREAM
4 January 2003
Throughout my life I have never been a person who dreams much, or who remembers my dreams. It was always a disappointment that I would read about all these interesting dreams people had, while I slept a deep and usually dreamless sleep.
I chalked it up to the fact that I slept very little. Or I slept in chunks and never really long enough to get into a deep dream-filled sleep.
But lately Ive started sleeping longer, uninterrupted nights of sleep and suddenly I find Im dreaming. Very weird dreams.
Several times Ive dreamed of being angry with Dr. G and this was after I left the job! Hmmm...is there a message in there?
Last night I dreamed Carmen Soprano was carving up Richie Aprile and serving him into sandwiches for the family and I accidently ate one of them, both appalled at eating human flesh and surprised that it tasted just like very tender roast beef.
Obviously this was because yesterday I had watched the episode of Sopranos from the second season where Richie was killed and then cut up into pieces for disposal. Also, last night I stripped the last of the meat of our Christmas turkey to make turkey tacos for dinner and put the bones in a pot to simmer for soup. Perhaps a logical connection in my mind and hence the dream!
But explain to me why the night before I dreamed I was driving around in a car with Denver Doug.
Most of my dreaming is saved for the daytime, however. I have lovely day dreams. In my day dreams I can write like Debbie Lo Guerico, a local writer who just got picked up by a struggling syndicated paper. I read Debbie from time to time, but never with any regularity, because, quite frankly, I dont read much in the newspaper at all with any regularity. But I did happen to stumble across Debbies column this morning, when looking to see if my Australia article had made it to print yet (it hadnt). She was announcing her first column for The Front Porch. She gave a link to the paper and also a link to her own web site. On her web site are printed several of her better columns and I read through a lot of them. Oh my do I wish I could write like that. In my dreams! Do check her out and read the one on Happy Cows. Priceless. But then theyre all excellent.
In my day dreams, Im back on my bike enjoying the freedom of wind in my hair and the feeling of power in my legs again. Jeri and Walt are determined to get me back on my bike again and to that end, Jeri came back from the Bay Area today so we could go for our second annual holiday bike ride (last year I led her and Walt on the route that Cindy and I used to take each morning [I fear my accident has ended our rides together]). I was somewhat dubious about this whole thing when Walt announced that the temperature outside at 7 a.m. was 27 degrees. It had reached a balmy 37 by noontime and was showing no signs of getting any warmer than that.
However, Jeri arrived late and so by the time she got here it had risen to over 40. Jeri, who spends winters in Boston, scoffed "Oh...warm, eh? Dont tell me about it being cold!" Oops. Got me. So...off we bundled up, and off we went for our bike ride.
We did the bike pathabout 6 miles, I guess. Minus the dreaded overpass, which I discover is once again dreaded. My knees wouldnt take it, and I knew it.
I wont say it was the most fun bike ride Ive ever had, but after awhile I was enjoying being back on old familiar territory again, even with the pain in my shoulder. Fortunately I know every bump on that path, and knew when to let my arm hang loose and when it was OK to hold the handlebars.
I still am nervous on the path. I cringe when I go over the cracks in the road, even though I've ridden them lots of times. I can't get on and off the bike comfortably any more--I'm afraid I'll fall. Dogs on the road bother me more--they might run out in front of me and cause me to fall. And to my great consternation I kept having flashbacks of flying over the handlebars. I have go to get a "handle" (so to speak) on this thing!
The most fun was stopping by the duck pond. Id brought the camera with me and Walt and Jeri patiently waited while I experimented with some photos. I decided I have to go back there again at dusk and practice taking pictures of the Canada geese flying. I did get a couple that were good, but I definitely need practice. There are so many Canada geese in residence at the duck pond that I should have ample opportunity.
So I got out on the bike path again. I came home exhausted, but...I have to admit that overall, I think Im glad I went.
But I still dream of being able to ride again the way I used to...maybe someday.
PHOTO OF THE DAY
My fancy-schmancy PhotoShopped flying geese picture.
Weight Lost to date: 46.6 lbs