96th: It is unbecoming to stoop too much to one's meat. Keep your fingers clean and when foul, wipe them on a corner of your table napkin.
Today's Search Engine queries:
TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE SYSTEM
1 December 2004
You know, I don't really consider myself a stupid person. But I sure felt stupid today.
First, I had registered for a PhotoShop seminar which was being held at the Sacramento Convention Center. I knew it started at 10 a.m. and so I got myself showered and dressed and in to Sacramento in plenty of time to be there to register.
Only the tables in the Convention Center were for a convenience store vendors convention.
OK--must be the back part of the huge building, then. But the back part of the building was some educators display and though everyone was more than happy to help me with books for first graders, that wouldn't teach me much about Photo Shop.
Well, it is a huge building, so I decided to try upstairs and see if maybe it was there. I had brought the registration information and the schedule with me, but not the paper that gave the exact location, and I vaguely remembered there being a suite of room numbers on it.
Upstairs was deserted, except for a little guy who was moving tables and chairs. He asked if he could help me. I told him I was looking for the PhotoShop seminar. "Computers," I explained, when he looked at me blankly.
He told me there was no computer seminar in the building.
Swell. I wondered if I could get hold of a computer so I could check the web site, but then I discovered there was an 800 number to call for registration, so I had to go find a telephone. I still haven't found my pay-as-you-go cell phone and while I keep saying how much I hate cell phones, now that I don't have one, I've had several occasions (like being stranded 5 hrs at the Sacramento airport) when I really could have used one.
I managed to find a phone, called the registration number and discovered that the seminar is TOMORROW, not today. Sigh. Well, at least it only cost me $1.50 in parking, and I had no plans for tomorrow either, so I would chalk it up to a nice drive in the bright sun and getting to listen to my new Kate Clinton CD on the car stereo.
On the way home, I decided that I was probably never going to find the telephone and I really, really needed one, especially since I'm going to San Luis Obispo this week to meet Steve and Jimmy and our way of contacting each other will be by cell phone.
I stopped at Office Max, but they don't sell cell phones there, apparently (for some bizarre reason, I like typing "sell cell phones"). Since I couldn't get a phone at Office Max I decided I should come home and double check whether Jeri had Verizon or Cingular so I could get on the same plan, but as I was exiting the parking lot, there was a Cingular store and I convinced myself that it was Cingular that she had (and when I got home I discovered that naturally, it's Verizon. Sigh)
So I talked with this nice kid (I'm sure he was on his milk and cookie break from nursery school, he was so young) who talked me about calling plans and telephones. When I asked the price of phones and he said "anywhere from free to $500," I knew he was talking my language. Anything that has the low end "free" is my kinda thing.
So we went with the free phone and the low cost calling plan and the little kid did all sorts of mysterious things on the computer and in 15 minutes, I had a cell phone.
I rushed home to test out my new phone and sat down with the instruction book. Are they kidding? You need an advanced degree in computer programming just to read the damn book. There are things like SIM cards and SMS and MMS and, of course, they don't ever say what any of them are, you just have them or not, and the way the instructions are written, I haven't a clue if I have them--or what they are. For all I know I can be writing Funny the World on my cell phone, but I suspect that since I'm on the free phone and the cheap plan, I'll be lucky if I can make and receive phone calls.
They don't sell cell phones with big padlocks that attach to your body, so I'd better be careful with this one.
(And, of course, now that I've signed a 2 year contract with Cingular, I'm certain to find the pay-as-you-go phone which has been missing for 2 months!)
Anyway, when I got home, there was a call from my doctor's medical assistant, the one that the non-English speaking telephone operator couldn't find the other day. She said that Dr. H wanted me to come in and talk about medications. We tried to coordinate calendars and when she said that he had an opening today at 1:30, I took it.
The appointment was at Medicine 2, where there was a sign saying that we should register at Medicine 1, which was at the far end of the hall (Med 2 is in the middle). At Med 1 there was a sign saying we should register at Pediatrics (the other end of the hall, naturally). And Pediatrics registration was closed. But the nice volunteer assured me that Med 2 would open. I was skeptical, but it ultimately did.
First thing was the weigh in. (cough...cough...) We'll skip over that part.
Next came the blood pressure. Now Dr. H had put me on medication for high blood pressure some time ago and I've been somewhat erratic about taking it. But the last three times I've had my blood pressure taken when I donated blood they gave me these totally unbelievable numbers. Like last time it was 130/70. I mean--that's ideal. There is no way in hell that my blood pressure is 130/70, so I asked them to take it again, and they assured me it really was 130/70 and congratulated me on doing "something right."
Welllll....do I know my body or what? My blood pressure is not 130/70, in fact it's 180/110, which is higher than it has ever been in my life. So now I have more little blue pills (no, not those little blue pills) and an appointment to come back in a month to have the pressure checked again.
The doctor and I also discussed my knee problems and again he didn't have much to offer, except to suggest that I take Motrin and ice the knee. I am dubious. Since the accident I've used enough ice to down the Titanic, but I'll give it the old college try again.
I also managed to get a flu shot. Nyah nyah nyah nyah. In fact, when he asked if I'd had a flue shot, I told him I just assumed that I shouldn't even bother asking. But they say that it's for people over 50, who are at most risk for problems related to the flu. Did that ever make me feel old, looking at 62 here in the next month or two. (I also qualify for the flu shot by virtue of being on the cusp of diabetic). So I had my flu shot and I've had a pneumonia shot, and I had all my prescriptions filled and a new appointment to have my blood pressure checked by someone competent.
And now I'm ready to sit in a chair with a tech encyclopedia and my cell phone pamphlet and see if I can figure out what MMS's and SMS's are and if I have or even need them. And then I'll take my brand new cell phone back to San Luis Obispo, where I lost the previous cell phone and see if I can do better this time.
(The one thing I miss about my old phone is that it rang to the tune of "If I only had a Brain," which I feel more appropriate the older I get!)
P.S. later in the evening. I never did figure out the advanced features of the phone, but I have an upper arm that is throbbing so badly, is about half again normal size and has this widening white section on it. Maybe I shouldn't be so smug about getting a flu shot after all.
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I've got to get out and take more interesting photos!