HELP WANTED

16 May 2003

We still have not discussed my impending departure more than the 10 seconds we spent the day after I sent the e-mail.

He did write up a brief notice for me to post on a local e-mail group for medical office managers. I meant to bring it home, but forgot. However it said something along the line of an office manager being sought for a pleasant, small office, 30 hours flexible time, must be somewhat computer savvy, back office (medical assisting) experience helpful, good people skills. And it said that training would begin in July with take-over to happen in mid-August. This is absolutely perfect for me, as it will give me maximum opportunity for paychecks before leaving and not too much lag time before the plane takes off.

However, I feel that the notice about the job is a bit misleading. I've been trying to work up my own notice just to give my prospective replacement a real feel for what to expect.

We can keep the pleasant, small office part. It's a small office and it's pleasant most of the time. The patients especially are quite pleasant (obviously because of my "great people skills".)

But I do think the rest of the stuff need to be elaborated on a bit.

"Somewhat computer savvy." Lessee. Yesterday I was in the bone density room with a screwdriver installing the new computer and connecting it to the bone density exam table because neither of the other two people in the office has any experience with hooking up a computer. Today I was working with the tech in Florida because he didn't trust anybody but me to try to reprogram the table.

The new office manager should have her own AOL account, since I installed my account on the computer to use so that we don't exceed our very limited time on the local network to keep costs down...and I will be deleting the office e-mail account from my AOL account.

She also needs to have her own computer, scanner and digital camera, since I design forms, make graphics, and (soon) will be taking those famous "post-surgery" photos for patient charts.

She needs to know how to create a bazillion databases to track everything so that all information can be called up at a moment's notice, if she can ever get a moment. She should also plan to find time in her day to input all of the information. Good luck.

She should know how to surf the internet in order to find the addresses of famous people he wants to contact. "Get me the address of XX XX," he will say (naming a popular performer). "I don't want a fan site. I want to write to her directly." Her computer savvy should include wonderful sleuthing skills (and a lot of personal contacts who are able to follow through on most of the requests).

She also needs to know how to do web design, since she will be taking over that job as well.

Back office skills can be learned, but since I've now taken over things that he used to do, I hope she can program the ultrasound machine and it would help if she can point out veins, arteries, uterus, ovaries and endometrial stripe to the patient. Hands on experience would be beneficial so he doesn't have to spend time retraining her. The technique of lying across a patient's belly while holding her whatchamcallit open while he pokes and prods takes a bit of getting used to.

The applicant should be able to work 7-8 hours without a break and then take a tape home which he hopes to have back in the morning. It will be a great bonus if she can get along on 4 hours of sleep (she will, of course, be paid extra for this service).

Ideally the applicant should be neat and orderly and know exactly how to sort through a foot high pile of "stuff" to do with no flat surfaces on which to put it and make her desk remain looking neat. If she can accomplish this, she's a better person than I am.

The applicant should be able to balance a checkbook, make appointments and answer telephone calls simultaneous. Having at least three separate pairs of arms would be a plus. It would also be helpful if the applicant didn't mind not cashing her paycheck until there is enough money in the account.

She needs to agree to clean the office every other week and water the plants when he doesn't have time to. And of course clean and sterilize all the medical equipment.

And mostly she needs to know how to do all of this in 30 hours a week...including fixing the 4 p.m. tea he would like to start having, at a salary which is on the low end of the median for office managers in the area.

If there is anyone out there who would like to apply for this job, please let me know.

As for me, the entertainment editor has just offered me the opportunity to increase my workload at the newspaper and I am absolutely thrilled. With no "regular" job to go to, I'm thinking of actually taking a class or two in theatre and starting to learn the job I've been doing for the past three years.

I'm starting to think, in my dotage, of doing things that I actually like to do. Writing is high on the list. I'd love to start making writing pay, at least a bit. I'd also love to find a way to do something with the photos I've been taking--especially the photos of kids, most of which I don't post here because they don't really go with the journal (though I may start posting more on Fotolog). I'd love to find a way to earn some money taking photos of kids around here.

If I could photograph kids and earn money writing, what a wonderful world that would be.