WANGITUDE
3 March 2003
I am really behind on things. Here my journal pal Marn put out a call for help, and I let her down.
Marn has set out to give her spousal unit the title of Mr. Wangitude. She wants him to be
#1 when you google the term "wangitude."
I don't pretend to understand it all--but it has something to do
with tripods and spousal needs and Harrison Ford. But who am I to deny a friend a favor.
So I am hereby linking "wangitude" back to Marn's journal and Happy Birthday,
Mr. Wangitude. Fifty's not so bad. I remember fifty. Vaguely.
Google links are funny things. It's amazing the ways people stumble
across web sites. Since I added Extreme Tracking to this journal, I've been
monitoring--first compulsively, now occasionally--the ways by which people find this
journal. It's amazing the things people search for on the Internet.
Just yesterday, a new reader, Susan (hi, Susan!), signed my guest book saying
she'd found me by googling "Pick Myself Up, Dust Myself Off, and Start All Over
Again."
For a long time one of the leading contenders in the google queries
was "deep fried twinkies." No wonder this country is in the state it is, weight
wise, with so many people scouring the Internet looking for recipes for deep fried
twinkies. But I guess this is a country which slides by on deep fried stuff. While deep
fried twinkies definitely led the pack in google queries, the list also includes deep
fried Mars bars, deep fried cheese curds, deep fried turkey, deep fried Milky Way, and,
amazingly, deep fried pizza. (Someone was looking for a photo of a deep fat fryer--no
doubt a weight watcher feeling nostalgic for the good old days.)
There were a lot of queries for "funny" things: funny
shirts, funny long words, funny e-mails, funny soldiers (somehow that doesn't seem funny
any more), and lots of queries on just "funny." I suppose that's not so strange,
given the title of this journal.
Then there are the queries that make you go....huh? It also
makes me wonder what in the world I said that would create link on some of these queries.
Makes you wonder what kind of person would be looking for things like:
14 years playing with dildo
ambiguously gay duo
Anais Nin" penis size
blind without glasses or blind without when you are courting a nice girl and hour
make my wife wet with anticipation
Sniffing+tampons
stand in the sun and melt into the wind
Sexual queries so far outweigh non-sexual queries that it's a
pleasant surprise to stumble across a non-sexual one. I really got myself more passers-by than I ever
dreamed by discussing the fact that we do labial reconstruction through our office. In the
20 most recent search engine queries that extreme tracker always shows, I can generally
count on half--if not more--of them being about labia. Largie labia, small labia, labia
size, labia augmentation, labia implants, labia reshaping, etc., etc. I never dreamed
there was so much interest in labia (a term I think my mother-in-law had never heard
before I mentioned how many people are drawn to this journal looking for something about
labia!)
There are other pretty consistent links--like things having to do
with weight loss or fat or WeightWatchers or jacaranda trees or things from quotes I've
used from time to time.
But the #1 terms in all the months I've been tracking these things
are "urethra" and "urine." I never dreamed there were so many
variations. "Urethral play" is a real favorite (I'm wondering if this is
connected to "The Puppetry of the Penis" in some way!). Urethral sounding is
another very popular term--and I still don't know what that means (or whatever I said that
causes people to come to this journal over and over and over again looking for urethral
sounding...what does a urethra sound like?)
As for urine (now there's a phrase you don't often hear), people
want urine in all of its many forms--urine, pee, piss, whatever. Urine worship, pee trail,
and one of my favorites, "Tour de France pee."
There is also "uses for urine," which I found a pretty
silly query until I spent yesterday with my mother and heard of someone who cured a rash
on her hands by peeing into her hands and then air-blowing them dry--it seems to work.
Whoda thunk? Maybe there are inventive uses for urine.
But in all of the years I've been writing this journal, I've never
used the term "wangitude," and now thanks to Marn, I've used it. Given the
amount of traffic she gets and the fact the term has entered into Marn lore, I expect that
traffic to this site will now double because of all those people looking for wangitude.
Let's hope it outscores "urethral play."
 Thanks for your nomination of
Funny the World for a Diarist.net Legacy
award, of all things. You can find all the nominees here.
Congratulations to all the other nominees--especially my
buddies Haggie and Marn.
If you have a journal, support the community and be sure to vote. |
