PENIS ENVY
14 June 2003
Contrary to the beliefs of some males of the species, women do not all suffer from penis
envy. Only once in my life have I felt the slightest desire to have one of the silly
things hanging between my legs. We were camping at Mt McKinley, but all the regular camps
were filled, so we had to join a lot of other cars parked along the river. Walt, our
friend Mike, two of our sons, and about a dozen cars all filled with men.
Me. A beach full of male campers. No outhouses.
All the men had no problem. For me it required someone to hold a shelter, squatting on
rocks, and trying not to get the slacks wet. Oh for a penis.
But other than that one time, I've never longed for a penis. Until now.
With the arm held safely in place, it's not too terribly painful--more awkward than
anything else--but with the swelling of the leg, getting up and down is no fun. Doing it
while your pants are at half mast, or while trying to wipe, becomes a real comedy routine.
It involves holding the leg straight out in front of me, grabbing the sink, and kind of
falling onto the toilet. Then afterwards grabbing the sink and hauling myself upright
again, leg fully extended.
Oh for a penis.
I am extremely grateful for the strength training I've been doing this past year and a
don't know if I could so easily push my whole body weight up with one arm if I hadn't,
Yesterday I went to the office for a couple of hours. Dr G was out of town and it was an
opportunity to help his wife figure things out, without the pressure of patients and Dr G
himself. He had called earlier in the day and actually said, "I knew you ran the
office, but I didn't realize how vital it was." YES! So nice to have my importance to
the office recognized, after all the "you need to get more organized" talks
we've had.
I think the trip to the office was a bit premature. I was amazed at how quickly I was
utterly exhausted. It also was a surprise at how detached I felt from the whole thing.
Instead of feeling territorial about it all, I was eager to hear that Dr G has hired a new
office manager so I can start getting out...he has a few more interviews to conduct and
hopes to have someone hired by Thursday.
But, to my surprise, I just didn't CARE any more...I've mentally left the job already.
When Mrs G brought me home again, I took a long nap. I felt like I'd been through the
wringer.
I'm starting to chafe at the immobility. I've already decided to rent or borrow a
stationary bike when the swelling in my knee goes down so I can continue to bike, even if
it's only in my family room! For right now my main source of exercise is the body heft
onto and off of the toilet, so maybe it's a good thing I don't have a penis after all. |
