SHE WHO HESITATES IS SOMETIMES SAVED

6 June 2003

I came out from the exam room, after helping with the latest patient and there was a container of tarragon chicken salad from the market next door sitting in the middle of my desk.

Sitting in the middle of the couch was a friend I hadn't seen in a couple of years, who had dropped in just before the exam and who told me she'd wander around in the supermarket while I was occupied. She had a sack from the market at her feet.

I picked up the salad and looked at her quizzically, not knowing whether to thank her or not. She said "Oh yeah--I was going to ask if you'd like to have lunch sometime."

I was a bit flustered. Had she bought the salad for me in case she had to leave before I finished helping Dr. G? Should I open it and eat it with her? We talked about dates for lunch and settled on one. She picked up her sack and left. "Thank you," I called after her, holding the salad.

What an...odd thing to do. Why a salad? Why tarragon chicken? Why without asking me if I wanted anything. I mean, it was a lovely thing for her to have done, but it just struck me as unusual. But I was sure she was just trying to be nice.

I tried to decide if I should eat it then. We had another patient sitting in the office and now that I've started the food fotolog, I knew I couldn't eat it without taking its picture first. I also debated about it. Just looking at it I could tell that it was loaded with mayonnaise, and obviously not on my diet. But it was 1:30 already and I hadn't had lunch yet and it was beginning to look like it would be another hour at the very least before I would get a chance to get something to eat.   I was very hungry.

But I didn't want to look like the idiot that I am by pulling a camera out and taking a picture of my lunch while the patient looked on.

Maybe just a taste.

I opened the container and sniffed at it. Smelled very good.

But I would be strong. I would not take a bite until I had a chance to photograph it.

About then, the exam room door opened and Dr. G came out with the now-dressed patient and he started giving me orders for what he wanted me to give to her.

Then he picked up the salad off of my desk, looked at it and said "Oh good--my wife brought my lunch..." and walked into his office.

Now I understood why my friend didn't respond when I thanked her for the generous gift she hadn't bought for me. I was very glad that this silly new obsession with photographing all of my meals had prevented me from starting to eat Dr. G's lunch!

That was the second time today that a delay in action saved me.

We have somehow gotten on the list of agencies which arrange for surrogate adoptions. All these agencies seem to be in Southern California and several of the surrogate mothers or surrogates-to-be live in this area. In the early months of the pregnancy (or pre-pregnancy), several exams have to be made, but they don't need to be done in the office of the obstetrician who will ultimately follow the pregnancy.

So Dr. G has started doing these exams. I, for one, am thrilled. We begin the exams before the surrogate-to-be has started on the program, and then after they've begun manipulating her hormones, and then ultrasounds to confirm pregnancy with fetal heart activity. One surrogate is carrying twins and Dr. G has done several ultrasounds of her, so I've been able to see, for the very first time, the growth of a fetus in the early weeks of pregnancy. Since they weren't doing ultrasounds when I was birthin' babies, this is a whole new world for me. I'm used to seeing ultrasounds of uteruses...not of a uterus with something in it (and twins is a real treat).

However, one of my favorite patients, who is carrying twins, has been having some difficulties and it has required several appointments in the last two months. Things have been so busy at the office that I haven't had time to get her bill put together. When I finally did, I realized I didn't know where to send it. I had actually sent a bill to the coordinator at her medical office, who sent it back saying it needed to go through the agency for which she is carrying the babies. Only problem is that I didn't have the name and address of the agency, but I did have a phone number.

So I called and had a chat with my contact there. She gave me the name and the credit card number of the would-be parents and I prepared the bill. I was a little concerned that the mother might go into apoplexy when she saw the charge I was about to make (which was approaching $1,000 because it was a comination of four or five different bills).

I talked with her and all was fine. I had her credit card number, but Dr. G was on the phone, using the line that shares with the Visa machine. I sat and sat and sat waiting for him to get off the phone. I had already gotten my approval number from Visa and I just needed to put the charges in the machine so it would be credited to our account.

Just about the time Dr. G got off the phone, the surrogacy agency called and after a very confusing back and forth we finally determined that while I was discussing Patient A, she had been discussing patient B and that patient A hadn't gone through their agency!

Thank goodness Dr. G was tying up the line or I'd have to go through all the rigmarole that you have to do to reverse charges on your visa bills.

I've been a person who did things precipitously, instantly, as soon as possible.