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29 April 2003

I learned something about myself today, I think. Despite the chaos that is my life and the clutter in which I exist, I think (now this is still in the hypothesis stage, you understand) that I work well in an organized environment. When the organization doesn't depend on me for its creation.

Today was at work. We've had some weird banking things that have gone on, some of our (read: my) making, some because of other people. It's involved many trips to many banks, searches for new people to be in charge of various things and a lot of creative money movement.

It's the sort of situation that I would have expected to infuriate Dr. G because everybody has been at least somewhat incompetent, no matter how high their rank or in what establishment they operate (or how closely they are related to him). It's one of those weird black clouds that seems to be following his money around everywhere this week.

Oddly enough, it seems to have had the opposite effect. I think the challenge to whip us all into line has energized him. He was positively glowing as he raced into the office today to meet the first patient. He had left a message on the answering machine--a quite nice message--saying that we would talk about his taking over the checkbook.

"I know it's not something you like to do and aren't very good at it. It's something I do like to do and am good at and it drives you crazy. Nothing negative. I just think this will work out better."


Later he made some comment to a patient saying "I'm surrounded by beautiful women who..." unison we said "can't add 2 and 2." We laughed about it.

Whew again.

When the last patient left, we had our big meeting. He was bursting with ideas. Obviously he had been thinking about this all weekend.

Since the start of my job, I have set my own schedule, depending on the need. It is not unusual for me to work a 9 hour day without so much as a potty break. Day after day of this makes me start feeling sorry for myself--and fiercely martyristic. I guess hoping that the more I drag, the more my "worth" will rise. But you can't out-workaholic a workaholic, and Dr. G is a Workaholic's workaholic. So he doesn't notice that the people around him are working too many hours, getting no breaks, and are on the verge of falling apart, because they aren't doing nearly as much as he is. It's not his fault--he's just built that way and he's driven to make this business succeed.

So he had several concrete ideas. First, he made arrangements for me to get together with the banker with whom I work most closely and we will make the checkbook "pristeen" (I'm still not quite sure how this is going to work, but I'm hopeful).

Secondly, he's meeting with someone who is going to track our billing and find out why he's doing thousands of dollars in medical care and receiving essentially a pittance in payment. We are seeing so many patients (including some expensive surgeries) that there is no longical reason why we should be having financial problems.

Third, he wants me to start working regular hours. It means an increase in my weekly hours, but a regular schedule, which includes -- be still my heart -- a lunch hour!!!! My god, that's enough to do Curves AND go home to get something to eat. I can't remember the last time I had a lunch hour.

And he will take over the checkbook. I'll still pay the bills, but will pay them on a regulated schedule and he will keep track of everything and keep the checkbook in his office (which means that I will no longer have to balance all of the patient charts on top of it any more).

I wrote fast and furious as he laid out all of the new rules and regulations (which include his writing up an employee manual which, he apologized, I should have had months ago).

When our meeting ended, I had the bare bones of a completely reorganized office, with work spread out among three people (four, if you count Dr. G), and for the first time in I can't tell you how long, I'm hopeful that things might actually improve. I'm actually ...well, maybe "excited" is a bit strong a word... but "encouraged" to start a semi-rigid schedule. I just hope that we can keep to it.

Just the very act of getting things organized has cleared away the cobwebs from my own sleep-deprived brain

Of course, as I said, the plan is just in its infancy at the moment and who knows if I'll be able to follow through on it (or if he'll be able to let me!), but the change in my mental attitude as I drove home from the office this evening had me sitting back and marveling at how much more in control I felt just by having things laid out for me.

I never set out to be a boss-type (even when the only employee is ME). I'm obviously better able to follow someone else's schedule than to create one myself.

At least that's how I'm feeling at this specific moment in time. Check back in a week and see if I'm still as enthusiastic about it.

Quote of the Day

Beyond the clouds, behind the rain, on the other side of our yesterdays, there are a thousand rainbows.

~ Flavia

Today's Photo

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Flowers from Dr. G's garden

One Year Ago
Hello, Knees
(Weight loss milestone)

Two Years Ago
"Death" is Alive and Well
(Death Conference at Stanford)

Three Years Ago
Meeting Tipper
(Tipper talks to PFLAG...I shake her hand)

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Pounds Lost:  68.6
(this figure is updated on Tuesdays)

On the Odometer

Blue Angel Total 928.6
2003 YTD Cumulative:  430.2

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