I LIKE ME...I
REALLY LIKE ME
2 October 2002
The alarm goes off at 3. I get up and come in to the computer. I
like working at this time of day--nobody is up, on line or off, and I get a lot done. I had hoped to do it
last night, but I couldn't stay awake.
6 a.m. comes and I'm still hard at work. I'll have to skip the club.
But I take a break to make coffee.
7:15. Time to get dressed. I decide to try on a pair of twill pants
I bought a couple of months ago. They are a size 20 (I started out wearing 24-26) and
didn't quite fit when I bought them, but they slip on just fine now. The waist is a little
snug, but I can sit down. Good. I'll wear them. The material feels so good--nice and
soft--and the tight waist will remind me not to get carried away with food today.
7:30. WeightWatchers will be starting weigh ins. I put on my helmet
and unlock URL (I take this bike when I need to carry a purse. I remember the first months
of my going to weigh-ins when I found excuses to drive the 3 blocks instead of walking.
I roll down the driveway and onto the street, remembering how scared
I was when I first got on the bike, how the driveway (which barely slopes) looked terribly
steep and I was afraid I'd careen out into an approaching car. Now I not only get on the
bike at the top of the driveway, but pedal down (because it's really an eency weency
slope--barely noticeable). I confidently make a sharp right turn into the bike lane.
The September winds have finally come and I'm pedaling into a
headwind. I notice that I'm doing 12 mph and remember when I had to struggle on a calm day
to keep up to 9 mph. I smile.
I come to Anderson Rd., a busy street with a stoplight. I stop and
push the button to cross, then hop on the bike again and pedal to the other side,
remembering how the first time I tried that, I couldn't get the bike started and ended up
stalling traffic, flailing about in the middle of the street with my foot trying to find
the pedal while the people in the waiting cars chuckled at the fat lady.
On arrival at the little clubhouse where WeightWatchers meetings are
held, I easily swing my leg across the back of the seat in my dismount, remembering when I
had to get off the bike near a wall or a car or something else in case I would fall trying
to bring my leg through the bar.
A trot up the stairs to the building, remembering how reluctant I
was to enter this building for the first time, and how I slowly climbed the stairs,
holding onto the railing.
I am the first person there, so Bobbie takes me right away for
weigh-in. "Looks like you've lost another 1.6 lbs," she tells me. This puts me
over 80 lbs and I'm very happy.
"Chris--Bev reached 80 lbs," Bobbie calls out. Chris is
the leader and she comes over to congratulate me. Chris lost 100 lbs 11 years ago and
knows what a feeling this is for me. I tell them I can't stay for the meeting, since I
have to get back to work, but tell them I'll see them next week. Chris asks if I've had a
haircut (the curly hair is curling a bit tighter this morning).
On the way out, I pass Brian. Brian is a gentleman about my age, who
is from England, and who remembers me from my days at The Typing Company. He and I chat
from time to time when we are both at the same meeting. I remember when I didn't know
anybody there and felt out of place, even at a WeightWatchers meeting.
Back outside, I debate which way to go home--the short way, the way
I'd just come, or the long way, going a few blocks out of my way to make a big circle. I
decided on the long way around, since I didn't have a chance to go to the club this
morning. I marvel that I want to get a bit of exercise in.
Down the quiet streets I pedal until I hit 8th St., a busier street,
with traffic headed my way. I turn my bike into the curve and continue on the bike path
without breaking stride, remembering my very first day on the bike on city streets and how
I panicked when I came to a wide street with traffic on it. How I rode for weeks "the
back way" to the club at 6 a.m. so I wouldn't meet any other cars.
The headwind picks up again and I downshift to make pedaling a bit
easier, smiling that I have learned about downshifting and what gears to use. I still am
not exactly expert, but I'm getting used to the feel of the bike and it's a good feeling.
Down the backstretch, across to our side of the street and up into
the driveway. Swing leg over seat again, lock bike, and come in to fix a sensible
Now it's time to head off to work. I could bike, but I'll have at
least two trips across town today and I just don't feel like doing it on my bike in the
wind. Any other day this would be my lazy way of making an excuse to take the car, but I
am not a lazy person any more. This is just for convenience. And I know it.
This is The New Me--and I like her.