...her eyes fluttered today...
...her temperature went up to 108 today...
Then came the end,
and the conflicting feelings of relief that it was finally over, and pain that it was
Slowly, the pace of life outside our little circle began to become
more insistent and after time, we were able to join back into the world of the living
Gilbert's life and death struggle, like David's, took place over
hours, not weeks. First was the shocking news--there's been a tragic accident. From where
we were, there was nothing we could do but sit by the telephone and wait for reports.
...it doesn't look good...
...he's going to die...
...we're taking him off life support...
No time to adjust to the fact that the person you love who was so
alive this morning, is now dead.
Then the "grief process."
Then slowly coming out of the fog and back into life yet again.
When you are dealing with the last hours / days / weeks of someone
you love, you become an island unto yourself and those closest to you.
People who care about you are on the shore, watching your suffering,
wishing there were something that could be done to help, feeling so terribly helpless.
When those people live at a distance, it's even more difficult.
Can't even drop off a ham or a potato casserole to help get the family through the
difficult days when the last thing you can think of is food.
Can't stop by to give a hug, no matter how useless that may be.
Can't call to offer an encouraging word for fear of disturbing the
My friend is losing her mother.
..."It doesn't look promising"...
...she's a little better today...
...she's had another spell...
I feel so helpless. But I'm here and she's there and there is
nothing I can do but wait until the time is right and she's able to get out from the
island of pain that she and her family are inhabiting. There is nothing I can do, nothing
I should do, and yet I feel so helpless.
Now I know how she felt when Paul died and she felt the same
There is nothing lonelier than having to go through the long wait,
no matter which side of the island you're on.