TACKY FUNNY CRAP
5 May 2002
I've been to several gay pride events now but it wasn't until two years ago that I heard
the expression.
I was helping my friend Kathleen and her crew set up for a PFLAG table for the Gay Pride
celebration in Sacramento. The Sacramento group had brought flags and balloons and
streamers, and pens and I don't know what all. Kathy referred to it all as "tacky
rainbow crap."
The two of us went that year to the Pride weekend in San Francisco and as we walked
through the area where all the booths were set up, we noticed how many of them were
selling "tacky rainbow crap." Now I can't see anything with a rainbow on it
without thinking of "tacky rainbow crap."
Well not to be outdone, I have now designed "tacky funnytheworld
crap."
 I first encountered Cafe Press a year or so ago and
decided to design a shirt for Steve. Cafe Press allows you to upload designs and then
indicate which items you wish to release for sale. I think the idea is for them to charge
cost plus a bit for their effort, and set that as the base price. You can set the price at
whatever you want to earn money for you. That wasn't the idea behind the Schalchlin
designs (which we never did release--not good enough), and that's also not the idea behind
the "Funny the World" stuff. I designed it just for the fun of it, but then
thought--what the heck. If anybody is dying to wear "Funny the World" on your
chest or your head, drink your coffee out of a Funny the World mug, or run your mouse
across a Funny the World mousepad, here's your chance.
This is no plug. I don't earn a cent from it, but I kind of liked the way my own shirt
turned out and wanted to give others a chance to have one too. (Actually, the
t-shirts are Hanes Beefy Tees and quite good quality, if I do say so myself!)
* * *
Last week, in the middle of my depression, I sent a wailing note off to Haggie bemoaning the fact that after all
this time I expected to be feeling better, stronger, more able to do stuff. She was very
nice, consoling me, and pointing out to me the advances I have made in riding the bike,
exercising, etc.
On Friday as I was marching along at 3.3 mph on the treadmill, I began to slow things down
for a "cool off" period (I learned that at Mary's
club in Seattle). When I got to 1.8 mph, it felt almost as if I was standing still--and I
realized that for the first week or so at the club, I was walking at 1.8 mph and remember
what a triumph it was when I upped the speed to 2 mph. Now I'm doing 3.3 mph.
Yeah--ok--there's been progress.
I also remember my first time on the exercise bike when I thought I was going to die
before I got to 5 minutes. Now 20 minutes is nothing. I could go longer, but the boredom
factor sets in (also Joan is waiting in the wings for her own turn on the bike and I'm
ready to hit the treadmil anyway).
This morning I decided to go out for a bike ride on the Greenbelt before starting work. A
sort of early morning chance to commune with nature. Also, the odometer is working again
and I wanted to find out how far Olivia and I biked when she was here a couple of weeks
ago (especially since she's coming up tomorrow and The Boobs are going to go out again).
It was a lovely ride and I enjoyed the perfume of the flowers, the singing of the birds,
and watching the dogs run around playing with sprinklers on the lawns. I rode for about 5
miles and backtracked to take some flower pictures, since some of the yards had such
beautiful flowers.
At the end of the ride was The Overpass. I couldn't justify not taking it this morning.
It's Saturday and I don't work at the club on Saturday, so I couldn't even claim tired
knees from all that exercise. But I was feeling strong and felt I could easily take The
Overpass.
The first time I did The Overpass, I was very grateful to Jeri for having given me verbal
instructions for how to downshift--the whens and hows. She told me that as you go farther
up, you shift gears farther down and with that advice, and having mastered the
"hows" of shifting, I was able to make it to the top going down, down, down in
gears until I think I was at about 1 or 2 when I got to the top, huffing and puffing. URL
and I had made it, triumphantly.
Today, I gritted my teeth, looked at the overpass and began pedaling. When it got more
difficult, I downshifted. And very soon, discovered I was at the top. I was hardly huffing
or puffing, and when I looked down at the gears, I was in SIXTH gear. I had only shifted
once (and even that was pretty good, since when I got this bike I was riding around in 5th
gear; now I'm using 7th).
So yeah, Haggie is right. I've made progress. At 59, my milestones are not going to come
as fast, or as close together as they did when I was 20 or 30 or even 40, but if I keep at
this, they will come, and that's the most important thing.
(You know, if you could see The Overpass you'd laugh--it's such a dinky little
thing to be making all this fuss about!--wait till I do the REAL overpass, over the
railroad tracks. Now THAT will be an accomplishment!)
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