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PISSED OFF

10 August 2002

I figure that title ought to get me some Google hits.

Apparently what this site is mostly good for is references to urine.

After being very frustrated for a long time about my inability to find all those cool search engine terms that people use to find my journal, I finally realized that I had the tracking code wrong on the page. Duh. It only took me about a year to figure that out!

Anyway, I now have the code fixed right and so I'm getting hit counts and reports on Search Engine Queries.

Do people search for wise sayings about death? Do they look for support for gay causes? Are they looking for trips to England? Do they want information about Steve Schalchlin?  Are they interested in biking or dieting?

No.

They're looking for urine.

Here are some search engine terms that have brought people to this web site:

trail pee
pee trail
Tour de France relieve
Tour de France pee
Girls going to the bathroom
nuns bladder
old dog bladder problems and
urethra sounding

I couldn't figure out when in the world I discussed nuns and bladders in the same entry, but there it was. I even made the top of the second Google page with that one.

They had to go all the way to page 8 to get "urethra sounding" (but the entry was the same one as for "nuns bladder").

How desperate is someone to find information on "urethra" that they would wade through eight pages of .... oh never mind. I'm looking at some of the titles here. "Cock and Ball Torture Stories," "Glossary of the Foreskin," "Male Urethral Play," "The Delicate Matter of Sheath Cleaning," etc. I guess if you're really into that sort of thing, you can find...uh...tittilation in reading the titles and checking the pages.

I got bored clicking through pages before I found myself in the "Tour de France pee" search (though I must admit I was somewhat amused to discover how many times "Pee Wee Herman" came up using that string!) I have to admit that finding about how one relieves oneself while racing in the Tour de France might be of some interest. (Time to talk about that bike catheter that Haggie and I discussed on one of our toodles down the Iron Horse trail!)

Ironically "girls going to the bathroom" (I show up on page 7) also points to the same entry about my helping with a medical procedure. Gee--if I'd never written that entry, I might never have had traffic to this site. I was, however, amused to discover that when you look for "girls going to the bathroom," you get a link to a Golden Girls episode about remodeling their bathroom. I'm sure that was really exciting for the perverts.

But you know, the Internet is a strange and marvelous thing. I keep a large supply of quotes to use for the Quote of the Day here, but occasionally I want something a bit different. So for today, for example, I went looking for "urine quotes." In doing so I discovered that there is a Urinetarian Church. No kidding! Dedicated to "the worship of urine."

I'm not going to link to that page, but it did lead me to a page about urine therapy, which is a bit more legitimate sounding.

If you want a way to stay with a diet, I offer the following:

Urine therapy refers to one of several uses of urine to prevent or cure sickness, to enhance beauty or to cleanse one's bowels. Most devotees drink the midstream of their morning urine. Some prefer it straight and steaming hot; others mix it with juice or serve it over fruit. Some prefer a couple of urine drops mixed with a tablespoon of water applied sublingually several times a day.

I don't think I can top that.

But if nothing else, this entry should satisfy all those folks out there who are looking for salicious material on urine.


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Thank you for nominating my entry, Moving On for a DiaristNet award!

Quote of the Day

The doctor came in later. He said that my blood looked good and that my urine was clear and looked good too. That calmed me, until I realised that I hadn't even had a urine test. Either he had looked at somebody else's urine or he found me attractive and this was one of his pick-up lines. Maybe I was supposed to tell him that his urine was clear and looked good also."


-Ellen Degeneris

 

Picture of the Day

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...in keeping with the theme...
(if you're going to embarrass a kid,
pick a dead one...
this is David, age 2+
going potty for the first time)

One Year Ago
Walkin' the Dog
Obviously my brain has no new material; it just regurgitates familiar old material over and over again.

Two Years Ago
How did I do it?
We live in a town where children are enrolled in Harvard at conception, and our own kids are no slouches in the education department. So finding a 10 year old with absolutely no concept of math whatsoever was quite a revelation for me.


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Pounds Lost:  73 - YAY!!!
(this figure is updated on Tuesdays)

On the Odometer:  496.4
(and now my BIKE IS BROKEN!!)


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Created 8/09/02